Support a friend after surgery. spring manicure options that need to be repeated

Make small meetings with friends and relatives - try to somehow distract the patient. Watch more positive films and programs.

Do whatever it takes to have some fun.

And look for words of consolation, this does not need to be done. Some people just don't like it.

When the doctors pronounced a sentence on me, I was most infuriated when they took pity on me and tried to somehow calm me down.

Therefore, you need to be patient and more positive.

I think that such people simply have nothing to console. How can you console a person if he has lost a loved one? I think not. This is certainly a terrible loss, but this is not a reason to commit suicide because of this and do something with yourself in general. IN this case only moral support can help, try to speak and show him all your support, all your understanding in this situation. And try to tune it to the right thoughts, that in life it happens that good people leave us too soon, such is life and sometimes it is too cruel to us. Try at least at this moment to be with this person as often as possible, he needs any support, and most importantly, he just needs warm words and words of support.

If you find it difficult to find the right words.

(How to communicate with a person who has cancer)

I met Zhenya at the landing. We were both students, lived in the same house and knew each other since childhood. Zhenya's mother was admitted to the hospital, where she was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Zhenya looked very confused and unhappy. I asked him when he was going to go to the hospital to see his mother. He replied that that was exactly where he was going, but he simply had no idea what he would say to her. “You see, I really want to see her, but I don’t know how to talk to her now. I feel like I've hit a dead end. I've been sitting here for half an hour."

This situation describes the feelings that so many of us experience when we find out that our loved ones or friends have cancer. When this happens, it is very important to know that you are not alone. Naturally, when our friends or loved ones find out about their diagnosis, we are lost (even if it later turns out that everything is not as scary as it seemed to us at first). We just don't know what to say. Or it seems to us that there is something that we must say necessarily; and this will certainly help our friend or relative, only we do not know what. The purpose of this guide is to help you deal with these feelings and give your loved ones the support they need. Simply put, if you want to help but don't know how, then this booklet is just what you need.

First of all, it is necessary to understand that there is no universal formula or a phrase that is suitable in all cases and under any circumstances and which is known to everyone except you. The most important thing is your desire to help. Very often we do not know what to say to a loved one who has cancer. However, the most important thing is not what we say, but how we listen. It is the ability to listen that is the main key in communicating with your friend or relative. By learning to listen, you will be much better able to help him. To do this, you need to understand why the ability to listen is so important. We will talk about this in the following sections.

However, before moving on to practical listening skills, we must touch on the reaction that the very word "cancer" evokes. Currently, the diagnosis of cancer, of course, entails both for the patient himself and for his relatives a feeling of isolation from the rest of the world and predestination. Even though it's enough a large number of Oncological patients are completely cured and from year to year the statistics of curability is slowly but steadily increasing, the word "cancer" still paralyzes a person for many reasons more than most other diagnoses. That is why this support is especially needed.

Why do we speak and why do we listen?

So, you want to help, but don't know how best to do it. Perhaps, to begin with, it is worth understanding why we speak and listen in general.

1. Conversation as the most convenient way to communicate.

Of course, this is not the only way to communicate - there are also touches, kisses, laughter, even just silence. However, it is verbal communication that is most effective; it can most clearly convey to us the meaning of all other types of communication, which are also very important.

2. Conversation as a way to reduce stress levels.

We can solve a whole range of problems by talking, which is probably what speech is for. We use speech both to explain vital truths to children, and to tell each other jokes or simply exchange news. However, speech has another purpose - we need it to be heard. People often just need to talk it out, especially when things aren't going the way they want. And this really helps to at least partially reduce internal stress, “let off steam”. This means that you can help your sick loved one by learning to listen carefully to what they have to say to you. And this, in turn, means that you can help, even if you do not have ready-made answers to his questions.

The fact is that listening in itself helps. In the next section, we will introduce you to the ABC of listening. An interesting study was conducted in the USA, during which a group of people were trained basic techniques hearing. After that, several patients voluntarily decided to meet with people from this group and tell them about their problems. "Listeners" could only nod their heads and say phrases like: "Yes", "I understand", "Yes". The instructions forbade them from asking any questions of patients or discussing their problems. After an hour, most of the patients were convinced that they had been in a therapy session, and many of them expressed a desire to meet these people again and thank them.

It is very important to remember that you are not expected to answer questions: you can help by simply listening to all these questions.

3. We are more worried about what we are silent about.

Family and friends of cancer patients often explain their reluctance to discuss their anxieties and fears with them by saying that this can cause anxiety in patients that they did not have before. That is, in this case, the person argues something like this: “If I ask him if he is worried about radiation therapy, then he will begin to worry even if he did not think about it until I asked him.” In fact, this does not happen. This, in particular, was confirmed by the results of studies conducted in the 60s in the UK by psychologists among terminally ill people. Research has shown that talking to friends and family does not lead to new fears. On the contrary, fear increases if a person does not have the opportunity to talk about it. People who have no one to talk to are more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression. Other studies have shown that people who are seriously ill face being stopped talking to and suffer even more. In general, if a person is very worried about something, he is simply not able to talk about something else, or he does it through force. Shame is one of the reasons that make a person hide his feelings. Many are ashamed of manifestations of anxiety and fear. They are really scared, but at the same time they believe that they “should not” be afraid and therefore are ashamed of their own feelings. You can really help a loved one by listening to their fears and talking about them. This will show that you understand and accept his feelings. In turn, this will help him deal with shame and fear, and reassure him that you are always ready to talk to him.

Starting a conversation with a person who has just been told that he has cancer, many feel uncomfortable and confused. That is why now we will talk about what prevents us from communicating productively.

Barriers to conversation

There are certain circumstances that prevent you and your sick friend from communicating freely:

Relationships with loved ones

A difficult diagnosis for many sounds like a sentence. And not all people are able to cope with cancer alone. For those around you, communication with cancer patients is always a big test. How to talk to a cancer patient correctly, how to communicate so as not to cause additional frustration, not to cause aggression and despair?

Many begin to respond with aggression to aggression: as a rule, nothing good comes of this, and relations only worsen. In order not to aggravate the situation of a cancer patient, it is important to understand how he feels.

How to support someone with cancer

To cheer up the patient, first of all explain that he is not a victim! This will help a person to maintain an active position in relation to life. At the beginning, when a person only found out about his illness, he is, as a rule, in a state of shock. Now is the time to “include” him in solving the problem, and not sit back and do nothing. Of course, it takes some time to get used to the idea of ​​cancer, but the sooner you start acting together, the better.

At the moment when the stage of anger and anger comes, the techniques for getting out of an emotional crisis are best of all. The easiest way is to write about your feelings on paper. Moreover, this can be advised both to a sick person and to someone who happened to be next to him in this difficult moment.

To do this, every day ask the person to write down everything that worries him, on just three pages from a notebook. If you don't have the strength to write, let him dictate. Let him tell the paper or the recorder everything he thinks about the situation, about his illness! This technique brings noticeable psychological relief and relieves severe emotional stress.

When the stage of faith in a miracle comes, it is important not to let the patient go down the wrong path. Of course, faith is important, but treatment should not be neglected in any case. During the stage of depression, people often withdraw into themselves, become isolated. Here, on the part of those around you, there should be a clear understanding of how important it is to be just around.

Help for adults with cancer

When an illness happens to someone very close, like a mother, it is very difficult to bear it. The main thing is not to blame yourself, and not to be angry with your mother. It's not your fault or hers that this happened. It is important to act in a timely manner, not to give up. Well, if fate decreed in such a way as to take a person out of this life, try to endure this loss steadfastly. Feel all the pain and bitterness of loss. Last days should not be overshadowed by squabbles and quarrels. It is important to create a favorable emotional background for the care of a cancer patient.

Support for a child with cancer

If a child is more cancerous, it is doubly difficult for parents and other adults close to him. It seems that the heart is breaking from the realization that the baby is suffering. The child is perceived as part of the parents, part of the mother and father, so many adults accept the oncology of the child as their own. Of course, you don't have to do this. First of all, mothers should not focus on their own misfortune, it is important to share responsibility with the father of the child.

As for the relationship with the child himself, it is important here to abandon hyper-custody. Yes, the child is sick, but if he feels well, there is no need to forbid him to do what he loves, to limit daily activities. When the disease is defeated, after a period of rehabilitation, it is better if the child returns to his daily affairs and responsibilities. For example, going to school, for many children, the ban on attending school means that something is wrong with him, that they are sick. It is also important to maintain interest and joy in life in a child.

What to say to a cancer patient, what words of encouragement should be so that he does not lose heart? In most cases, a person with cancer tries to run away from himself, to suppress his emotions. Let him talk, cry, it is very important to him!

• Let him know that you are there, you are not going anywhere and will be with him. Close and dear people are given in order to share not only joy, but also grief.
• Tell him directly that you need him, that everything he does is very important to you and, most importantly, valuable.
• Together rethink your life together and/or friendship, remember the best moments.
• Try to explain to him that the disease is just a twist of fate, albeit steep, but surmountable!
• Some patients begin to abuse alcohol, it is in your power to convey to them that alcohol is not a way out of the situation, not salvation, and, moreover, not a cure.

Films about cancer patients

Psychologists advise that in order to reduce the degree of despair in cancer patients, you can watch a film about cancer patients. I wish it had a good ending. So a person suffering from oncology will be able to get positive emotions and find strength to further fight the insidious disease.

Video "To help relatives and friends of cancer patients"

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All the best to cheer up: quotes, jokes, jokes, anecdotes, pictures and much more...

Words of support for a sick person

Kind words of support to a sick person in prose, quotes uttered by you will only positive impact to a loved one.

Required attitude good treatment- faith in the best. If the prognosis of the development of the disease is doubtful, focus on encouraging signs, life-affirming words, help to improve the patient's condition. The strength of the spirit makes a person invincible. Vasily Aleksandrovich Sukhomlinsky

“You will recover and everything will be fine, the main thing is not to be nervous and do not cry. Stress and depression greatly reduce immunity, which cannot be allowed now, the body is generally capable of self-healing, the main thing is not to put a spoke in its wheels. Despite the difficulties and circumstances, just believe in yourself - in your strength! I understand that it's easy to say, but difficult to do, But try. We are all with you, and together we will make every effort to improve the situation with your health.”

“Now you have a difficult period, you are tense, tired, all this affects your health. Rest more and gain strength, follow all the doctor's orders and think less about the bad. You are the best and kindest with us, everything will pass soon.

“Don’t be too nervous, hold on! All diseases are from nerves. Your health will certainly recover. Remember that I always mentally support you, and look forward to improving your health condition.

“Our dear little man! They say that if you strive for something with all your heart, then it will undoubtedly come true. You will definitely be healed! Now medicine is progressing very much. We are your family, together with the doctors, will try to do everything possible to restore your health.”

"Believe in your recovery, because good mood and optimism can play an important role. Everything will be fine! It simply cannot be otherwise!”

“The main thing is to think about the good, believe in recovery, do not succumb to the disease, fight! It's hard but you have to keep going! We love you and believe that together we will definitely overcome the disease.”

"So bright, and positive person like you, everything will be just fine! Try to follow all the advice of doctors, think only about the good, dear, because thoughts materialize!

“Try not to succumb to sadness and despair, anger at the disease, because only a positive mood and a strong spirit will drive away your illness. If you need my help, just let me know and I'll be right there."

“Let it be bad now, but then everything will be fine. Everything will change and the pain will recede. God will give you the strength to endure everything, do not lose hope, hold on. You need to survive, wait, and then everything will work out. We believe in you and will pray for your recovery."

quotes and sayings about illness and recovery: As soon as a person falls ill, he needs to look in his heart for whom to forgive. We must sincerely forgive everyone without exception, especially ourselves. Let us not know how to forgive, but we must strongly want it. Our every thought literally creates our future. (quotes from Louise Hay)

My dear ones, all your illnesses are from not your hardness: from heat, from delicious food, from rest. Do not be afraid of the cold, it mobilizes, as it is now fashionable to say, the body's defenses. Cold throws a hormone of health into the body. Let everyone decide what is more important to him - business or small joys. Everything must be a victory. Man must live in victory; if you don’t get it, you’re worthless on a market day ... Why get treated when you can and should not let the disease into your body!

Porfiry Korneevich Ivanov

Don't be sad! Recipes for Happiness and a Cure for Sadness Grieve will not help matters, and if trouble has befallen you, the best thing you can do is try to adapt to the circumstances. I knew a man who had his left arm amputated right from the shoulder due to an illness. He did not fall into despair and did not lament over this, but showed patience and decided for himself that he needed to live on despite this test. He married, he had children, he drove a car with one hand and did his job diligently and diligently, without complaining about anything. He lived as if the Almighty and created him with one hand ... Aid al-Karni.

“Avoid those who try to undermine your faith in yourself. This trait is characteristic of "small" people. great person On the contrary, it gives you the feeling that you too can become great.” Mark Twain

Illness is a cross, but maybe also a support. It would be ideal to take strength from her and reject weaknesses. Let it become a refuge that gives strength at the right time. And if you have to pay with suffering and renunciation, we will pay. Camyu A.

The hope of recovery is half recovery. Voltaire

Just as it is impossible to treat the eye without thinking about the head, or treat the head without thinking about the whole organism, so it is impossible to treat the body without treating the soul. Socrates

If the egg is broken by force from outside, life ceases. If the egg is broken by force from within, life begins. All great things always start from within.

Life sometimes beats us, it is, of course, very unpleasant, but the day will come when you will understand that you are not a victim, but a fighter, that you will cope with all your troubles. Brooke Davis

The one who conquered himself is truly strong. Victory over yourself is a victory in which there are no losers, because the power that commanded you against your own will becomes a conquered power.

Mix your sorrows with the sorrows of the whole world, and your sorrows will be less. Yakov Abramovich Kozlovsky

Your determination not to give up will allow you not to break even when everything collapses.

Everything is in our hands, so they can not be omitted. Coco Chanel

When running water meets an obstacle on its way, it stops, increases its volume and strength, and then overflows through the obstacle. Follow the example of water: stop and increase your strength until the obstacle no longer interferes with your path. I Ching

Nothing is impossible, anything you can imagine is possible!

No desire is given to a person apart from the power that allows it to be fulfilled. Richard Bach

You can't change the situation, change your attitude towards it.

It doesn't matter if you're walking slowly... the main thing is don't stop.

Theme of the section: words of approval of support for a sick person in prose, quotes, statements for men and women. And lastly, remember that hormones of happiness (endorphins) are formed in the brain when a person rejoices, laughs. Thus, they strengthen the immune system, improve the properties and composition of the blood, change the endocrine status of the body, relieve stress, and help recovery!

The only doctor who thinks that everything is in order with you works in the military registration and enlistment office.

Topic 3. What words to say in difficult circumstances? (Series about the influence of words)

Throughout life, each person has to face different difficulties. It can be minor troubles at work, a quarrel with a loved one, illness or the loss of someone close. And in these difficult circumstances, it is so important to know that there is someone nearby who will not regret warm words of support. After all, one spoken word can heal a bleeding wound or, conversely, cause even more harm.

Today, unfortunately, people underestimate the importance of spoken words. But it is in them that a huge power is hidden, which is capable of both giving life to a person and taking it away. The Bible says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it shall eat of its fruit.” Prov.18:22 As you can see, the tongue has power, and despite the fact that it is a small member, but it is he who controls everything.

Why is it so important to express words of support in difficult times?

The fact is that when a person is supported and told that together they will cope with any problem, that there are those who love him and will help him next to him, then by this they strengthen the one who is in a difficult situation and give him strength. However, the lack of understanding and support can kill even the slightest hope that everything will be fine.

Words of support to the sick

Unfortunately, in life it also happens that illnesses come into our lives. Some of them are easily cured, others have more serious consequences, and still others lead to death. And when we learn about the illness of a person close to us, it plunges us into shock and bewilderment. However, what does the patient himself feel at this moment? Of course, he suffers more than others. Different thoughts may arise in his head, and it is at this moment that words of support to the patient can help him feel that he is not alone, and that there is still hope.

Faced with such a circumstance, everyone understands that something needs to be said, but most often people cannot find the right words, but begin to show pity. This is the last thing the patient needs. Our participation and a kind word is what the patient needs. This is what will help him not worry so much, knowing that he is still loved.

What words of support can be spoken to the patient?

1. You need to tell your loved one that you love him and no matter what happens, you will always be there.
2. Speak compliments, praise for some merit, even the most insignificant. For the patient, this merit can be a real feat.
3. You don’t need to talk about the disease itself and how shocking the news has become for you, it’s better to distract the patient with some good news or, in extreme cases, a funny anecdote.

Any sick person needs words of support and attention. This will help him recover faster and recover faster.

Condolence support words

The loss of a loved one is perhaps the greatest test for everyone. And in this difficult period, a person needs to be given help and attention so that he can go through this path and begin to live a full life again. In this case, instead of words of support, words of condolence would be appropriate. However, condolences can be different. For example, let's compare two options.

1. "My condolences! Everything will be fine!" - such support seems completely indifferent and sounds more like a formality. How can everything be good if everything is very bad?
2. Or: “Accept my sincere condolences! Know that you can always count on my help. If you need something, I'm always there!" - from such words it really becomes warmer in the soul. After all, knowing that there are people who are ready to help in any situation helps to cope with many difficulties.

So, what are the words to speak in difficult circumstances?

• First of all, these should be thoughtful words. What we say can change a person's life for better or worse. After all, every word we say will surely bear fruit.
• If a person himself is in a difficult situation, then there is no need to dwell on his condition and constantly tell everyone how bad everything is. After all, these words will bear fruit. Difficulties will be encountered more than once on our path, so we must learn to extract something positive and good even from the worst. And that's exactly what to talk about.

The Bible says, “I said, I will watch my ways, lest I sin with my tongue; I will bridle my mouth as long as the wicked is before me. Ps.38:2

Our unbridled words can be a blessing or a curse to someone. Therefore, even expressing words of support to someone in difficult times, it is worth controlling yourself. Unfortunately, very often it turns out that you wanted the best, but it turned out as always. Therefore, sometimes it is better to keep silent than to say some stupidity that hurts a person to the core.

Words of faith in difficult times

There are circumstances in which words of unbelief cannot be spoken.

When you have pressure at work.

When there is no money

Under no circumstances should these words be proclaimed into your life.

"Why?" - you ask. And ask right. Remember Part 1 of our study? God created the entire universe with a word. And we are created in His image and likeness.

And therefore, what we say in our life is what we have.

When I started doing business, for the first 4 months I had practically no orders. Only small ones, or from relatives.

I remember my birthday. I have not had any orders for 48 days, a warm March evening. A friend called me, congratulated me and then casually asked:

So much went through my head at that moment. But in response, I briskly replied:

Instead of words of disbelief and despondency, I spoke what I believed.

And isn't that a lie?

No. For the reason that it happened.

Example 2. Relationship with a person.

The principle here is very simple.

Speak not what the soul feels. Because the soul is always like on a roller coaster, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

But say what you believe in your spirit.

And soon what you see will agree with what you say.

Jesus did just that.

One day a man approached Him, the head of the synagogue, whose daughter was dying. Imagine his grief. The girl he raised with love lies with a disease for which this man had no cure. He turned to God.

22 And behold, one of the rulers of the synagogue, named Jairus, comes, and, seeing him, falls at his feet 23 and earnestly asks him, saying: My daughter is at death; come and lay hands on her that she may be well and live. 24 Jesus went with him. A multitude of people followed Him and pressed Him.

The Lord God always answers the need of man. Jesus went after the leader of the synagogue.

But an event happened on the road that made Jesus stop. Time is very precious. The daughter is dying, the head of the synagogue is terribly worried.

And Jesus at this time is talking to a woman who was healed by touching Him.

35 While he was still speaking these things, they come from the ruler of the synagogue and say, Your daughter is dead; What else do you trouble the Teacher? 36 But when Jesus heard these words, he immediately said to the ruler of the synagogue, Do not be afraid, only believe. 37 And he did not allow anyone to follow him, except Peter, James and John, the brother of James.

See how important words are. The man still believed. But they came from home and said that their daughter had died.

Jesus' first reaction was to say, "Don't be afraid, just believe."

And the ruler of the synagogue obeyed. He did not utter a single word of disbelief in the most difficult circumstances. He did not fight in hysterics, did not shout at subordinates and did not get angry. He gave the situation to Jesus.

And when Jesus said to him the words "Do not be afraid, only believe" - ​​he did it.

He did not give in to fear. He submitted to faith.

38 He comes to the house of the ruler of the synagogue and sees confusion and weeping and crying loudly. 39 And he went in and said to them, Why are you troubled and weeping? the girl is not dead, but asleep. 40 And they laughed at him. But having sent them all away, He takes with Him the father and mother of the maiden and those who were with Him, and enters where the maiden was lying. 41 And taking the maiden by the hand, he said to her: “talifa kumi,” which means: maiden, I tell you, get up. 42 And the maiden immediately got up and began to walk, for she was about twelve years old. Those who saw it were astonished. 43 And He ordered them severely that no one should know about it, and told them to give her something to eat.

There are some amazing things in this story.

In the East there is a profession - a mourner. At mournful events, such people are invited. But Jesus sent them out despite being laughed at.

And then Jesus spoke words filled with faith and what He proclaimed happened. He didn't ask his daughter to get up. He proclaimed it "girl, I tell you, get up." And it happened.

But most of all I want to draw your attention to this man.

Indeed, the situation is terrible. A beloved child dies. Nothing can be done. Since he is the head of the synagogue, he is not a poor man, and he has tried everything he can. But nothing helped.

But notice his behavior around the Lord.

During all this time, he only said the words once. And they were words of faith. "come and lay hands on her so that she may be well and live."

He spoke words of faith when he came to Jesus. And when it was very difficult, he just kept silent.

But during all this time he never uttered a word of disbelief, a word of fear or doubt. HE did not lament: “Aaaaa, Jesus, my daughter is already dead, lying in the house. How am I going to live now? But you didn't come."

Sometimes faith is expressed in words. But there are times when it's hard to even say. But shut up and keep believing. And this faith materializes in the fact that you will see the result of faith.

A word of encouragement for difficult circumstances.

First. Your words of support are very important to your neighbor.

Second. In difficult circumstances, do not let your tongue speak words of doubt and disbelief. Because you are surrounded by what you say.

Interview with the performer of Christian songs - Natalia Tikhonova.

Topic 4. Words that affect the upbringing of a child's personality (Series on the influence of words)

How to support and motivate a person with cancer

It so happened that in our time, every person, one way or another, is faced with such a disease as oncology. To become involved in this disease, it is not at all necessary to become ill yourself. To stand in the face of the "internal enemy" - cancer, can either a family member or a friend / girlfriend. How to be in such a situation? How to support the patient? How to motivate for recovery? What words to find, and what, on the contrary, categorically not to pronounce with a cancer patient? These questions are answered by an article written exclusively for the site. onkoexpert.en

A loved one is sick, what should I do?

This post is purely positive. This story is about faith, about the exclusive and undeniable faith in recovery.

Be that as it may, no matter what diagnoses are made, no matter what degree the disease passes to, it is important to remember one thing - people were healed of cancer of any organ and at any stage!

• You can listen to forecasts, you can believe them or not, but miracles do happen, so the focus in communicating with a sick person must be kept on this and warm up faith in him in this vein.
• Yes, people died of cancer, but our loved one is alive and NOBODY, absolutely no one can say which of us at what hour and from what will depart to another world! In general, you should not think about the fact that he will die, or talk to him about death. By discarding black thoughts, it will be easier to motivate a person for a favorable outcome.
• How important is support for a person when he suddenly finds himself in a situation that he considers the worst event of his life! Have a desire to help? Then you need to cut free time for this very support (a call, a walk, chatting on the Internet, collecting the missing funds for treatment, escorting to a doctor, to a church, etc.). Support. This is what a person suffering from such a serious illness needs.

What not to say to a cancer patient?

• In no case should you say general phrases like “hold on” and “everything will be fine” to a person. The reaction in this will be one - irritation, bitterness. What to hold on to What can be good when you are sick? Common words are no help here. It is better to immediately start a conversation with positive statistics.
• "You look bad". Nothing more vile can be invented in this situation, support is good, especially in the case of the fair sex. It is better not to say anything at all, only if the patient asks himself, and you can reassure with words like: “hair will grow back”, “you have become so slender”, “after treatment, everyone will get in shape, you will be as good as new.” The most good news that this is how it really is.
• You should not talk about your fun and active entertainment, parties, especially if they don’t ask about it. An oncology sufferer would most of all like to return to a full life, so you should not unnerve him in vain. It's like giving skates to a person with a broken leg in three places.
• If the patient cannot eat because of illness, or he cannot do this, then you do not need to tell him about your gatherings in a sushi restaurant, banquets, and food in general. We avoid all topics from which a feeling of inferiority may arise in a loved one, we include a sense of tact, in the end.
• Away with tears and sour look. Well, the patient will not get better from your weakness.
• Patience and patience again, an unhealthy person can be very irritable and even rude, even reject help or forgive so that they do not feel sorry for him. In this case, we help and regret delicately and completely unobtrusively.

Complex actions

You can help your girlfriend or friend develop a plan of action to overcome an unpleasant illness and stick to it.

1. Faith and motivation

a) believe in recovery;

b) constantly motivate the patient for a successful outcome of treatment.

2. Get treated

Do not deny traditional medicine, do not let the disease take its course, because this is not some kind of runny nose, therapy, and sometimes surgery is simply necessary.

Many patients, along with traditional medicine, were often saved by all kinds of natural remedies. All sorts of herbs, tinctures, decoctions, bee products and even live crayfish are used. It's just worth coming to folk treatment with great responsibility, because health is at stake. Try to get the information you need together.

3. Forgive

If everything is clear on the first two points, then the third needs clarification. The thing is that any disease is a consequence of any events. If you delve into the problem, you can find the conclusions of psychologists that, for example, tumors appear due to resentment, our very deep resentment. You can be offended both at any particular person, and at your own bitter fate. Also, experts on human souls say that you should not “cling” to the past, you need to let it go in order to heal.

Helping a loved one cope with cancer, you can tell him to do his best not only to try, but to forgive his offenders with all his heart. Resentments with the heaviest weights “hang” on a person, bringing him severe sores.

4. Go to church

When you study the stories of those who have been cured, you often come across stories that the disease receded after the patient began to visit temples and monasteries. In many large cities there are especially revered miraculous icons, applying to them, people received the long-awaited healing and then wrote to the abbots of the temples about their happiness in the final victory over the disease.

5. Affirmations

Together you can make positive attitudes (Affirmations), which the patient must repeat indefinitely (until he recovers).

6. Wonder stories

Collect by friends and around the world more stories victory over oncology, constantly tell a loved one about all this, and even better, introduce him to a recovered patient.

Trying to find more cases of recovery on the Internet, especially from the most severe stages of cancer, it is worthwhile to understand that not every recovered person or his relative will trumpet about it all over the world. Why? Yes, in order to simply “not jinx it”, so, you can surf the virtual spaces, sometimes you need to remember this.

7. Laughter

Watch comedies. Laughter heals, so you should rather download all the best comedies that you can find on the Internet and give it to the sick person to watch. Better yet, watch a movie together and laugh at the funny moments. It has long been proven that positive emotions can cure anything!

8. Goal is the future

The past has no meaning, there is nothing to look into and evoke longing for the patient. Instead, talk about the future, make plans, help dream. It is better to conduct all conversations in the vein “when you recover, then ...”, “after recovery ...”, “imagine how your life will change for the better after recovery, because you will appreciate every moment healthy life…” and other phrases based on such sentiments.

When you express your thoughts in this way, the corresponding “pictures” begin to emerge in the subconscious, and simply come true, which is why it is so important not to let negative thoughts enter your head for a second.

9. Get busy

The course of the disease is different, some patients can continue to work in their usual position, combining work with treatment. Being busy with something is very good, so you involuntarily distract from heavy thoughts, fears and thoughts.

If treatment and work are in no way combined, for example, due to poor health, true friend can help keep the patient busy. Fortunately, we now live in an age of information riot. Invite the patient to gain some new knowledge via the Internet, maybe register on a thematic forum, or even learn an Internet profession, or learn the Italian language by constantly listening to audio lessons. Any new hobby, knowledge, change of activity can help a person get back on his feet and defeat the disease.

10. Ask for help

Here's another one effective way, which helps patients to feel the strength of the mountain to turn. You just need to pretend to be weak and really ask for advice or help in something from an unhealthy friend. When a person understands that he, being sick, can help someone, this inspires him greatly and gives him energy to fight.

Summary of the article:

• To translate the gaze of a loved one to a miracle, to healing.
• Smile at the patient.
• Show attention, write off more often and support a friend in this difficult moment. In grief, the hardest thing is to realize that no one needs you. Support is one of the greatest things you can think of, and more often it is moral support.
• Tell the cancer patient how to work on psychological reasons that could cause disease.
• Search and tell stories that ended in full recovery.
• Turn to religion.
• Try to make you smile, make you smile.
• Help to believe in a happy future, repeat about it.
• To occupy a person with something.

It takes a lot of effort and time to fight cancer, but if there is a person nearby who is ready to help, support, share fears and concerns, then things will go faster. Help each other, and then the world will be more beautiful.

How to support a loved one? Part 1.

Good afternoon friends! Relatives of those who are ill with this or that oncological disease very often turn to me with a request to support their loved one. Their letters are filled with despair, grief, tears. How can I help my loved one?; What should/should I do?; How can I cure my husband/wife, help my daughter/son, cure my mom or dad? they ask.

Since I had too much material on this issue in my head, I decided to break it into two parts. And today I will try to convey misconceptions about the responsibility for the health of a loved one.

Of course, the support of close people is necessary for a person who has met with such a test as oncology. But sometimes relatives do not even suspect that sometimes with their obsessive attention and care, they can prevent a sick person from mobilizing all their strength and throwing them into their own recovery.

Alien goals...

More than once, one of the goals set by my clients was the goal - to cure a loved one. Is this true? In my opinion, this goal is doomed to failure. Why?

Because this goal is not yours, it is someone else's goal.

Why would you treat him? Maybe he likes to be sick somewhere on a subconscious level? Maybe this person needs a disease in order to teach some lesson, to teach something, to move him off the "dead point"? Why are you preventing him from dealing with his own illness?

Why should you be responsible for the health of a loved one? After all, he himself did not care or care about his health, and he alone is responsible for his decisions.

Even a surgeon, when he goes to an operation, does not set himself the goal of curing the patient. His goal is to successfully, without errors, carry out the operation in order to help the patient recover as much as possible.

Remember that you cannot decide once and for all what is good for the patient and what is bad.

Personally, I find only one explanation for the fact that people set themselves such a goal. They depend on a sick person, and it does not matter psychologically or financially.

You had a calm and happy existence, some habits. There were wonderful pictures of the future regarding your loved one, and now it is collapsing in an instant.

It is possible that when you learn about the illness of a loved one, you are even more shocked than the sick person himself. The whole future disappears in one moment, only emptiness remains. Emptiness frightens, paralyzes. It needs to be filled with something new, but where do you get the strength from?

I need him/her because I:

• it will be difficult without him/her;
• I can't live without him/her;
• I would be lost without him/her;
• without him / her the world is not nice to me;
• the world will be empty without him/her;
• on whom the children will remain;
• add yours in the comments below.

How to properly support a loved one?

Of course, a loved one can play a huge role in the recovery of the patient, but can he "cure"?

To answer this question, first, let's figure out what a relative or just a close person may experience in relation to a sick person, and which of these components will be positive and contribute to recovery, and which, on the contrary, will interfere.

Typically, there are three options here:

1. responsibility for the illness of a loved one;
2. feeling guilty about the disease;
3. patient care.

What can we advise our relatives on how to behave, looking at the situation from the point of view of a cancer patient?

Do not take responsibility for the illness of your loved one!

Some people have little (sometimes VERY big) problems understanding this rule.

I love this man, he is not a stranger to me, his life is my life, his illnesses are my illnesses, I am obliged to cure him, I am obliged to help him.

Responsibility for the illness of a loved one

We were all taught in school that being responsible is good and being irresponsible is bad.

Indeed, be the master own life is the main quality of a successful healthy person. If a person does not take responsibility for his life, then immediately there is someone nearby who can take responsibility for your life and begin to manage you. Where a person is afraid, hesitant, lazy to make a decision, others do it for him.

But in our case, the person is sick, and, as everyone knows, "the salvation of a drowning person is the work of the drowning person himself." Remember Munchausen pulling himself out of the swamp?

A person who has just been diagnosed with cancer is, to put it mildly, in shock, and sometimes his relatives at this moment completely take the initiative into their own hands and begin to take him to the doctors, etc. And this is absolutely correct. It's called caring and helping. But we will talk about them later - in the second part.

You cannot take on too much responsibility. What is over-responsibility? Excessive responsibility is when you take responsibility for something over which you have no control.

How powerless I am, but I will move mountains for my beloved! - you will say, and you will be right, but there is a very THIN, almost invisible LINE between taking responsibility for someone else's life and taking care of your loved one. The first carries a destructive, overwhelming power, supporting the weakness and impotence of the patient, the second carries a healing power and confidence in recovery: “Together we will cope and overcome all difficulties. I will be with you all the time while YOU fight and heal!

When you are overwhelmed with excessive responsibility, then you extinguish the will of the patient to recover. You can only hurt him.

Let him look for answers to the questions why he got sick. Your relative's health is none of your business! His health and life is his life. And yours is yours!

Positive effect on recovery:

• Help a loved one to undergo treatment: go to the doctors together, take the patient to procedures, etc.
• To create an atmosphere around a sick person, where the needs of not only the patient, but also all other family members are met.
• Allowing the patient to go about his normal daily routine and praise him for doing well.
• Expand the scope of interests, come up with some new hobby that is not related to the disease. In a word, do something that will distract from the disease and bring positive emotions.
• Openly and honestly discuss the problems associated with the disease - the likelihood of relapses and death.

Negative impact on recovery

• complete deprivation of the patient of physical independence.
• hiding some problems in the family, hiding the diagnosis and negative forecasts.
• "indulging" the weakness of the patient.
• task: to make him / her healthy, to cure a person.

I hope that this material will be useful to you. In the second part, we will talk about guilt and how to take care of the sick so that it benefits him.

Cancer: how to support a loved one?

How can you help someone with cancer? How can you support him, what can be done for him and how to communicate in order to help, and not upset him?

How can you help someone who has been diagnosed with cancer?

What can be done for him?

• It happens that patients who have been diagnosed with cancer refuse therapy, avoid interaction with doctors, or seek to resort to unconventional methods treatment. These actions of cancer patients are driven by fear and uncertainty that drug treatment can have an effect. Accordingly, a cancer patient may lose time or even provoke a worsening of his condition. Therefore, it is necessary that relatives be able to convince him to be treated and abandon dubious methods of fighting cancer.

• Oncological disease at the stage active treatment usually gives rise to a number of problems associated with poor health of the patient. Weakness and exhaustion, nausea and loss of appetite - relatives of a cancer patient need to be prepared for the fact that their loved one will experience severe physical weakness. And this means that it will be difficult for him to do many things on his own. Accordingly, it is possible to help a person with oncology by taking on a number of household duties: taking him by car to the doctor, preparing food, going to the store, etc.

• In addition, it is important to understand that a cancer patient will most likely have to leave work for the duration of treatment. And this means that relatives need to take the financial burden on themselves in order to pay for the household needs of a loved one and his treatment. At the same time, patients usually experience a pronounced sense of guilt due to the fact that they feel helpless and shift a number of responsibilities onto their loved ones. Therefore, family members of a cancer patient should convincingly convey to him that help and mutual assistance in the family is the norm, and not a burden. After all, a family is a family, so that its members can help each other in difficult situations!

• A person suffering from the symptoms of the disease and side effects of chemotherapy is forced to face many negative feelings and circumstances that can unsettle him. Weakness, weight loss, hair loss - such things provoke a decrease in the patient's self-esteem, cause him a feeling of hopelessness, a sense of shame and even deep depression. Therefore, relatives of a person with cancer can help by regularly encouraging the patient and reminding him that these feelings are temporary. It is important to understand that this difficult stage is precisely the stage of life. As the oncological disease goes away, well-being and appearance the patient will begin to recover. And, when the state of remission finally comes, many things will return to their places.

• Since, during treatment, a patient with oncology is usually greatly weakened, he is, in fact, locked in four walls. Many actions take a lot of strength from a cancer patient, and poor health in itself reduces his interest in any active activities. Accordingly, a cancer patient cannot fully communicate with other people, is unable to lead an active and interesting lifestyle and is left alone with his thoughts. At this stage, it is very important to communicate with a cancer patient and help him maintain an interest in life, otherwise his psychological state may lead to the development of depression. Thus, it is possible to help a person with an oncological disease by including him in everyday life family and not let him withdraw into himself. Walking on fresh air, reading books, watching movies, talking with family and chatting with friends - all this should be present in the life of a cancer patient in order to allow him to feel like a full-fledged person and a full-fledged member of the family. It will be better if he can devote his time to hobbies that will be within his power: beading, drawing, sewing, etc. All this will help a person with oncology to spend time interestingly, abstract from the problems of the disease and maintain their self-esteem at the proper level. The healing process must run its course, but it must not be allowed to become the most important or even the only component of life. A cancer patient is still the same person who needs communication and employment, and can also keep up a conversation on different topics, show interest in the lives of loved ones and give them advice. And he must feel it.

At the same time, it is important to take into account that classes for a cancer patient should be selected in accordance with his physical capabilities and needs. Physical activity should be moderate so as not to provoke a deterioration in the patient's condition. In addition, you should not put excessive pressure on the patient and persistently offer him activities to which he is not inclined.

How to express your feelings in simple and clear words in order to convey to the patient the full strength of your desire to help? How to formulate wishes for recovery in order to help a person at the moment of trial? Probably best in order

deal with your thoughts, then the words will come.

Well wishes for loved ones

Everything is simple here. When contact is established, feelings are much easier to express. It is only necessary to take into account the nuances of the situation, so that instead of facilitating a person, do not pour salt on the wound. Start with how valuable the person is to you. Say a few words of sympathy, but better empathy. Now tell me how happy you will be when the illness is gone.

Dear mommy! Beloved, dearest! It's so wonderful to see your smile, to know that you are cheerful and healthy. Your illnesses are a temporary phenomenon, but I so want to take away all your pain from you in order to hear your joyful voice again! Get well soon! You are the strongest and bravest, you could always save us, your children, from the worst nightmares! And we will definitely help you!

Beloved son! My sun! Get well soon, and you and I will go to fabulous distances, looking for magical adventures! There is no such illness that could stop such a strong man like you for a long time!

Recovery wishes to the employee (boss)

When you need to say a few words to a person who is not in a close circle of communication, some precautions should be taken. If you are not quite aware of his affairs, then it is better to speak (write) common words. Keep in mind that a careless phrase can greatly hurt a person, worsening him general state, and hence slow down the correction.

Dear... The team strongly feels your absence from work. No one but you can make the decision so easily and simply difficult questions constantly bombarding our organization. We miss your wise advice, sparkling jokes. I really want to quickly see you in full health, shake your courageous hand! We wish you good health, and may this disease, which you will undoubtedly overcome, be the last. Let a series of happy years replace the current ill health!

Dear ... All sends you ardent greetings and wishes for a speedy recovery. We are with you in spirit, supporting you in this trial. We sincerely worry about you, we look forward to your speedy recovery! Without your original ideas we can't get the job done! Please accept our heartfelt wishes for a speedy victory over the disease! May life please you with health and happiness!

Wishes for recovery after surgery

Dear ... You have been given a serious test. We empathize with you and hope that the strength of your spirit will overcome unfavorable circumstances. You will definitely get better! We wish you not to lose optimism! Let adversity vanish like morning mist, and the bright sun of happiness will light up on your horizon again!

Wishing a speedy recovery to your loved one

You need to speak sincerely to the closest person, and He already knows how many experiences you have. Just say you love, it's always appropriate. The energy of this word is sometimes better than any medicine. For example: “My love! When you feel bad, not a single star lights up in the sky. All of them, just like the Sun, yearn with me! Get well as soon as possible. Don't leave the planet without light! I sincerely ask your health return to your master!"

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When your friend or relative is sick, you need special words to give him hope for recovery and maintain the former warmth of the relationship. Otherwise, you can seriously injure a person. Most often this is not due to our cruelty, we just do not know what to say. It is especially important to be able to choose the right words when you have to support with the help of messages. This is what our article is about.

Dedicated to everyone who wants to support the sick

Letty Kottin Pogrebin, in her book “Testing with Illness - How to Communicate, Maintain Relationships and Help a Loved One,” suggested 7 rules for showing sincere support to the patient:

• Don't ask "How are you?" So you upset the patient. You can ask a question when you are ready to hear the answer and not be afraid of the details.

It is better to say: “I am glad to see you”, “How do you feel?”, “How do you feel?”.

• A terminally ill person should not be told: “Get well!”, because he will not recover. And he understands it.
• Each patient requires an individual amount of attention, someone needs to be led by the hand to the doctor, and someone just needs to send SMS once a week.
• Avoid platitudes, empty consolations: "We are all in the same boat." “Yeah, only for some this boat leaked,” the patient will notice.
• Do not interrupt the patient when he talks about himself. It is important for him to be heard.
• Do not interrupt the conversation with phrases such as: "My cat also had a tumor removed." It's tactless and rude.
• Promised help? Do it! Or don't promise at all.

Short SMS in prose

* * *
May today on a sunny saucer bring you health, so that all viruses evaporate from this radiant gift.

* * *
Positive emotions are needed for a speedy recovery, so follow the prescribed procedures with a smile and do not lose heart!

* * *
I wish that your body, like a fabulous gigantic giant, stands firmly on its feet and with the mighty hand of health breaks the shackles that bind you to the disease.

* * *
Let the gray bird of disease, which has covered your joy with its wing, fly away under pressure good wishes and tender care of your loved ones.

* * *
Let the disease immediately recede before your incredible optimism, strong will, strong character and cheerful attitude.

* * *
God does not send difficult trials to weak people who cannot endure them. You are strong, so you can do it. Remember this, and never, you hear, never give up.

In verse

* * *
I don't let you get sick
You come to your senses soon!
Health is the main thing, I know:
It won't let you down!

* * *
I'll go to the pond, catch a fish,
I'll whisper my desire to her softly,
To change a tear into a smile
I want your pain to go away.
Day, another - you will forget about the disease,
Heal up - and again you are in the ranks.
To lie down a little is not grief at all,
I'm serious about you!

* * *
Let the wind joyful song
You compose outside the window.
I wish to overcome the disease
And no more pain later!

* * *
The weather is beautiful
Let's go for a walk with you
Please don't be sick
After all, tomorrow is a day off!

* * *
Without drugs and doctors
I'll tell you that you're healthy!
You are healthy in mind and body
Lie down and jump boldly!

good morning sick

* * *
With the first rays of the sun, I send you an air kiss with a high content of vitamin C and a gentle relaxing, antipyretic effect! Get well!

* * *
Let the flag of your recovery rise with the sun and let the day be painted with bright colors of good health!

* * *
Good morning! I want to brighten up your day with flowers of cheerfulness, relief and recovery!

* * *
Sun is up! Raise the sails, start the engine, sail to the shores of recovery!

good night sick

* * *
There are only a few steps left in this staircase of illness ... Tomorrow it will be much easier for you! Good night!

* * *
The most delicious and sweet dreams to you with powerful immunity and good health!

* * *
Fall asleep, let the night take away your illness, and in the morning you will send the thermometer in the case, and the pills and medicines in the far corner of the first-aid kit! Good night!

* * *
May your every breath this night become a sip of healing nectar for you and by tomorrow you will have completely recovered!

* * *
By tomorrow morning, knock out a cold! I'll give you one night! Because the next I want you to be in bed with me, and not with a thermometer 🙂

Relatives

In prose

* * *
I just want to remind you how strong/strong you are. We will always support you.
* * *
Your disease is just one chapter, but not the whole story.
* * *
Now you have a difficult period, you are tense, tired, all this affects your health. Rest more and gain strength, follow all the doctor's orders and think less about the bad. You are our best and kindest, soon everything will pass.
* * *
Believe in your recovery, because a good mood and optimism can play an important role. Everything will be fine! It cannot be otherwise.
* * *
Our own man! They say that if you strive for something with all your heart, then it will undoubtedly come true. You will definitely be healed! We, your family, together with the doctors, will try to do everything possible to restore your health.
* * *
You most importantly think about the good, believe in recovery, do not succumb to the disease, fight! It's hard, but you have to keep going! We love you and believe that together we will definitely overcome the disease.

In verse

* * *
Wishing you a speedy recovery,
Please stop treatment
Set aside pills and potions
Others are waiting for the procedure:
Injections of health and fun,
As well as happiness, faith, inspiration,
Injections of kindness, good luck, laughter,
Love, warmth, luck, success!
* * *
It's so cozy under a soft blanket
Due to illness, lie down all day,
Wrapping a scarf, drinking raspberries, along the way
The novel is entertaining to read.
But enough coughing, thermometer - in the first aid kit.
Quite a healthy gleam in your eyes.
The disease will leave you quickly,
Gain strength, everything is in your hands.
* * *
Let ailments and diseases all rush away,
Let your soul and body be simple and easy,
And in your beautiful eyes the light will light up again,
May a new day bring hope and a smile.
* * *
Get well soon, success ahead,
They are waiting for peaks and victory, joy is waiting, you go to it,
Let there be no problems and troubles in your life,
There will be good health and many happy years!

Favorite

It is better to address a sick guy or a sick girl by name. This creates a sense of personal contact.

In prose

* * *
How you want to just set the clock on the day of your recovery! Kiss!
* * *
Sun, get well soon! Create good news for me!
* * *
Bunny, this sms is a magic kiss of immunity, press the green button and press the phone to your ear.
* * *
I wish that in the next few days, the strings of life will give you exclusively notes with a high content of vitamin "C", on the sonorous chords of recovery!
* * *
I send you an air kiss, with a high content of vitamin C and a gentle relaxing, antipyretic effect! Get well soon, sunshine!
* * *
Let's do it with your immunity and finish this unnecessary cold waltz as soon as possible!

In verse

* * *
Come on, love, get better!
Get out of bed, get dressed!
We'll go on a date
From all diseases we will leave!
* * *
Well, stop hurting!
And only hang on the phone!
Adventure awaits us
Our love and fun!
* * *
Get well, because in the winter
I want to stay at home!
But why do you, love?
Long, intense pain!
* * *
Sun, get well soon!
Let's go feed the pigeons together!
I miss our dates
For you and your dreams!
* * *
I'm sad that you're sick
I want to hug you harder
To make you softer and warmer
Come on! Get well soon!

Friend / girlfriend

In prose

* * *
My dearest friend, drive away this sore from yourself as soon as possible! Gain strength and be like a tough nut to crack. Be healthy! May your health always be good.
* * *
You and I have gone through something like this, well, think about it, you got a little sick, but you are strong with me, so get well soon.
* * *
Buddy, you'll get better soon and we'll go for a walk. We miss your fun.
* * *
Get well soon and all your friends will be happier. We will chat again, joke and laugh.
* * *
Friend, I'm sorry you're sick. Get well soon! You can!

In verse

sick child

In prose

* * *
My beloved son / daughter, get well soon, we already miss you.
* * *
Everything will be fine, baby. You will recover soon, gain strength and we will go to cheer you up with delicious treats.
* * *
The sun is our dear, get well soon. We love you very much and we are waiting for you at home.

In verse

* * *
Get well soon baby
Get well soon, dear
Let's read books together
And we'll run with you.
Throw all the pillows
After we go to the store
Buying books and toys
And a huge orange.
* * *
Get well soon, baby!
Get well soon my dear!
Essential in life
Even if it's a little sick!
* * *
Gain strength, dear, get well baby,
Be again my rosy-cheeked strong man,
Razuznayka, why, smart guy, igrun, fidget,
You turned millions of questions and cases before lunch,
With a healthy baby, mom does not have to yawn,
Just try to keep up with the baby,
Mom misses a lot of noise from all angles,
Get better, forget about the disease and be healthy!
* * *
My dear baby, you sleep so badly
You eat badly and are not naughty at all,
Without your pranks in the house there is such silence,
Get well! You are already sick!
Mom and dad are so worried about you,
Our whole family is concerned about the situation,
We wish you the very best health,
And happiness and fun of the present.
* * *
It's hard for a little person to lie in bed,
With health, I would run around the apartment five times in a minute,
I would scatter all the toys and not only them,
And sweets, and marmalade would have consumed for three,
What to do, as mother does not protect,
From time to time, any baby is unwell,
Here's your cough syrup, read while you sleep
Quiet, boring, get well soon baby!

Chief

In your own words

* * *
When the boss misses work due to illness, the whole team is in a bad mood. You don't want us to be upset for a long time, do you? So get well soon!
* * *
Get well, boss! Are you tired of being sick yet? We are looking forward to your return as a team.
* * *
Everything is fine at work today. But without superiors it is more difficult to serve. We need your support and advice. Get well soon!

In verse

* * *
You, boss, heal up,
Get up and get strong
We are always in order,
There are no problems or failures.
Relax, gain strength
And fight the disease
After all, you are healthy, strong,
Together we are waiting for the whole team.

* * *
Everything is fine at work today
But we are bored without your attention,
And without your support and advice,
And smart advice, understanding.
Chief, we want them to leave
Diseases forever, leave the house,
And let all problems disappear, disappear,
We are all looking forward to seeing you at work.

* * *
Let all diseases go away forever
Boss, I'm at work without you,
Can't get everything done
We need support and advice now.
We wish you recovery
And joy that will bring strength,
Take a break so you can get started
To the robot, which is very, very waiting for you.

* * *
You are loved by everyone, boss
And on the robot, an irreplaceable person,
You are sick, we miss you
We wish you a speedy recovery.
Let the sun give you light, warmth,
And may health be very strong,
And every day brings you good
Let illnesses be forgotten in the house.

Colleague

In prose

* * *
How are you feeling now? Don't worry about the work, we all have time. I miss your presence, smile and encouragement. But most importantly, get well soon. And come back to us!
* * *
Decided to take a break from us, hiding behind the disease? It won't work! If you don't get better by Monday, we'll come to your house!
* * *
How are you feeling? You now have the opportunity to think about the rest of your life. What is not enough time, usually. I hope you get better soon and return to us with new strength and energy. And give us your motivation!

And the verses

* * *
Our colleague look, do not be discouraged,
Drive away diseases quickly
After all, on a robot, you know
A blockage without your help.
After all, without you, we are all sad,
Someone to cheer us up
So come on, let's get up,
Hurry to create, love and live.

* * *
Why are you so sick colleague,
After all, it's been more than a week
We can't do without you at all
We got into trouble.
We really want you to soon
Became happier and happier
We wish you good health
We appreciate you, we love you, we respect you.

* * *
You are sick, dear colleague,
The temperature has risen
You lie down, get warm and don't run,
And then completely with the work diverged.
After all, you need to rest at least sometimes.
Health is more important than anything.
And everything else, a trifle, nonsense,
Diseases - away, everything will be fine.

* * *
At work it's so gloomy without you
We climb here like sleepy cripples
Get well and come back to us
We miss our beloved colleague.
Stop having fun and get sick,
Production without a colleague has stopped,
We don't want to work and sweat.
And the authorities were very bored.

* * *
Anything happens and a person gets sick,
Weakness and despondency will run through the body,
Everyone runs after him, how they pity the girl,
But my colleague is not one of them.
I want you to heal now
And never, ever hurt,
You should always strive for recovery
After all, there is a lot to do at work.

Teacher / teacher

In prose

* * *
Dear teacher, get well soon, gain strength and come to your favorite school. We miss you very much.
* * *
We are waiting for you on your favorite subject, and we really hope that you will soon recover and come to class with a smile.
* * *
We wish you good health, so that you quickly get on your feet and never get sick again.

In verse

* * *
We wish you get well soon!
Gain good health!
Become everyone in the world stronger, healthier,
Go back to class and smile!
* * *
We wish the body to
Overcame all the pain that has accumulated,
So that everything is good around
And so that the disease does not recur.
* * *
Get well soon, get better!
If you want - drink hot tea and eat honey

cancer patient

* * *
I want you to know that you are dear to me. I want to be next to you.

* * *
I know that you are going through a difficult period in your life, but I will be with you and together we will get through it.

* * *
You are the brightest person I know. I will always be there, protecting you under my wing.

* * *
You have the most beautiful and sweet smile, I don't want it to never leave your face. I will do everything to give you only happiness.

* * *
I admire your courage, firmness and courage. Every day I learn from you these qualities. God sends such trials only to those who can endure it. Now I really believe that it is. You will survive!

* * *
I understand how you feel right now! But remember, you have me, and there are already two of us, and twice as much power. I'm with you! Remember this!

encouraging

In prose

* * *
Get better, don't be so kind and good man get sick. I am very worried and sincerely hope that you will recover soon and will again be in excellent shape, fully armed and with fully prepared to achieve great goals and conquer peaks.
* * *
Drive away this sore from yourself! Gain strength and be like a tough nut to crack. Be healthy! May your health always be good.
* * *
Let the sickness go out the window soon, let a joyful and bright day come, get well soon, because such a wonderful person should not get sick. He must make this world a better place, create, dream, strive for goals and enjoy life. Get well soon.
* * *
My dear man, let the disease leave you, get well soon. Stop getting sick already, let's already conquer this world and enjoy life, strive for dreams and embody your ideas. Get well soon.

In verse

* * *
You have to try very hard
Get rid of the disease.
get well let's go
And get up quickly.
I wish you: henceforth
Never get sick.
* * *
Get well, don't get sick
So much news in the world
We must do everything in time
So no time to get sick.
Get well soon
I'll be there, believe me
Together we can do everything with you
And we will overcome the disease.
* * *
It's time to recover
Decorate the world with a smile!
Let the doctors help
Get rid of this sickness!
I love, gentle caress
I'll help you heal everything
To again your eyes
Could radiate happiness!
* * *
Let's get better soon!
And promise you won't get sick.
And with a positive attitude
You will recover faster.

Cool

* * *
Let every minute, every hour be a sip of healing nectar for you, and by tomorrow you have fully recovered!

* * *
How do you want to transfer all the clocks of the world to the moment when your illness raises the white flag and capitulates in disgrace!

* * *
Let's get out of bed as soon as possible, stop hurting. We have important business ahead of us, my captain.

* * *
I would like to see a smile on your face as soon as possible, so smile for all 32 teeth of all diseases for evil.

Wishes

For recovery

In prose

* * *
I wish you to return your strength and good spirits as soon as possible. So that the immunity that you will receive in the fight against an insidious disease is enough for many years and even decades. So that other diseases, knowing your tough temper and fighting character, bypass you.
* * *
Let the disease overtake, do not be discouraged, take this as an opportunity to relax, be in a calm environment and gather your thoughts. And I wish you a good rest, and with new thoughts, strength and good health, quickly enter your usual rhythm of life.
* * *
I wish you strong, powerful health, one that can carry over a wave of weakness, dive into the abyss of life, like a surfer, and swim out on the crest of success and strength.

In verse

* * *
I wish clouds of diseases
Rays of gold pierced
And in the sky beautiful and bright,
So that the birds of health soar.
I want to forget about pills
elevated temperature,
About runny nose and sore throat
And a bitter, tasteless mixture.
* * *
Get well soon, get better!
If you want - drink hot tea and eat honey,
To get out of the disease without loss,
Gain strength, health ahead!
* * *
Get well! Fast, stable.
And with a drink very necessary, plentiful,
I wish you strength,
To cope with the disease as soon as possible!
And let in the struggle of this epic
Everything scatters randomly:
And microbes, bacteria, virus,
Let them go not to zero even - to minus!
Well, you, the winner, of course,
You will break into life flawlessly,
To more than make up for everything,
And become stronger, more resilient!
* * *
Get well soon
I wish you from the bottom of my heart.
Everything will be colorful, bright,
In your life, I know for sure.
Let the disease recede soon
Strengthens your immunity.
Let the sun warm you
And gives rays of bright light!

With recovery

In prose

* * *
It's good to see you cheerful and cheerful. I'm very glad that you recovered!
* * *
With your recovery! Now I smile when I see you happy and with renewed vigor. Take care of your health and don't get sick anymore.
* * *
Hooray! You have finally recovered. I take yummy and rush to you, it should be noted.
* * *
It's good that you recovered so quickly and got back on your feet. We are very glad that you are already smiling.

In verse

* * *
Very happy with the whole family
that passed all the way,
All diseases are gone
You are healthy in fact
The fire burns in the eyes
And blush on the cheeks!
Wave your hand to the hospital
Where did you have to be treated?
And of course never
You don't go there!

In the hospital

Before the operation

* * *
I wish you a successful operation and a speedy recovery!
* * *
Dear, I have always admired your courage, and I know you are strong! It's normal to be anxious about an upcoming operation, just don't think you can't handle it. Think of this operation as a simple procedure. You won't sleep for long, and when you open your eyes from the haze of anesthesia, I want to be the first person you see. I believe that everything will be fine!
* * *
I wish everything went smoothly. I sincerely worry about you and hope that you can handle it. I look forward to great things from you in the future. Everything will be fine!
* * *
I'm sure you'll manage, that everything will be fine with you. In turn, I express my own support to you and will try to help in any way I can. Therefore, I ask you to inform me in advance about your needs, which may arise during the treatment. I will try my best to resolve them.
* * *
I am sure that the surgeons will do everything to get you back on your feet as soon as possible. I believe in the best and in the success of the operation. Everything that depends on me, I will certainly fulfill and I will always be thoughts next to you. I hope you will always feel my support.

After operation

* * *
Well done! You successfully passed a difficult test and steadfastly survived the operation. I'm sure you'll be fine now! Get well soon! Gain new strength and forward - to success and new achievements! After all, life is beautiful, especially when you have - excellent health! And may it always be so!
* * *
With all my heart I wish you to recover from all postoperative consequences as soon as possible and return to the ranks of healthy people as soon as possible.
* * *
I wish you recovery. I am very happy that the operation was successful. Gain strength faster and smile more often!

Video to the material

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A woman draws vital energy from nature, a man receives energy from a woman. You can return what you received and, accordingly, establish energy exchange with the help of gifts. There is a pattern: everything presented to a woman will return to her lover tenfold. But greedy men close the energy flow on themselves, their business stagnates. And vice versa - generous men achieve a lot: their women easily part with their energy for the sake of their beloved, and it increases his strength and power.

How to support a man?

Men don't like being given advice or sympathy without asking. They want to be trusted. Men need to constantly assert themselves. They get a lot of pleasure, achieving something on their own. A man feels supported when a Woman tells him something like: “I believe in you, that you can handle it yourself. I trust you with this until you yourself openly ask for help.

Many women believe that the only way to get what they want in a relationship with a Man is to criticize when he is wrong and give advice when he does not ask for them. A woman often does not suspect that she can induce a Man to do something, simply by asking him about it directly, without criticism and advice. If a Woman does not like the way a Man behaves, she should directly tell him about it, without judging him and not saying that he is wrong or that he is bad.

There are three magic words that can support a Man: "You are not to blame." When a Woman shares her sorrows with a Man, she will be very supportive if she says: “I really appreciate that you listen to me. If you think that I am blaming you, then this is not so - I am just sharing with you what I feel.

The fact is that a Man often perceives as an accusation that a Woman ingenuously tells him about her grief - this instantly blocks communication and negatively affects relationships. It is important to remember that good communication requires the participation of both parties. A man should not forget that complaints are not accusations, and when a Woman complains, she is simply trying to relieve tension by talking about what upsets her. And it is important for a Woman to make it clear to a Man that she appreciates him, despite all her complaints.

Men are very upset when they are not required to solve a problem, because they need to feel good in every sense. Letting the Man know that he helps her a lot, just by listening to her, the Woman opens his eyes to her nature and at the same time gives him a reason for self-affirmation, which is so precious for the Man.

To support a man A woman should not suppress her feelings or change them. However, it is important for her to learn how to express them in such a way that the Man does not feel that he is being attacked, accused or condemned. small change inner emphasis in the expression of feelings can give amazing results!

John Gray

WHAT A MAN WANTS FROM A WOMAN

✔I want you to listen to me, but not judge me.
✔ I want you to speak up without giving me advice unless I ask.
✔ I want you to trust me without demanding anything.
✔ I want you to be my support without trying to decide for me.
✔ I want you to take care of me, but not like a mother to her son.
✔ I want you to look at me without trying to get something from me.
✔ I want you to hug me, but not choke me.
✔ I want you to inspire me, but not lie.
✔ I want you to support me in a conversation, but not answer for me.
✔ I want you to be closer, but leave me personal space.
✔ I want you to be aware of my unattractive traits, accept them and not try to change them.
✔ I want you to know... that you can count on me... No limits.

Jorge Bukay

PHRASES that can provide striking effect for men:

1. My Beloved (this is IMPORTANT: do not use the word - Dear, this word no longer contains the necessary information. On the contrary, this word in relation to a man has a glamorous and mannered connotation);
2. Strong (I think comments are unnecessary here)
3. The most courageous (the main thing is to say with a complete lack of irony)
4. You are the best (awesome phrase, it works for almost all types of men of all ages)
5. Sexy (Oh yeah!)
6. Smart (amazing effect - word bomb!)
7. Generous (Real men think that they are, however, not real Jews - too)
8. Clever, well done (do not be shy: use these words generously and often, and you will be happy!)
9. Unsurpassed (in a particular case)
10. Awesome
11. I feel so good with you (you can after intimacy, you can just like that, a great phrase that never happens!);
12. You turn me on (and also “insert” - and to be honest, this is a treasure for close relationships, a hook phrase);
13. I miss you so much (a good phrase if you are apart);
14. I admire you (no comment!)
15. I love you so much (often, often, constantly say this phrase to HIM, believe me - it works!)
16. You can make me laugh
17. Only you understand me (Often, with a heartfelt intonation, the result will be excellent!)
18. You know me inside and out (A wonderful phrase that generates trust, the main thing is not to do the opposite, otherwise it will not work)
19. You are the only one for me (Let's please their male Ego!)
20. I love your touch (Let them learn, dear and beloved, it will be useful for them where a woman is pleased and where not)
21. I'm behind you like behind a stone wall (Once a week is an excellent frequency of use)
22. I breathe you (you can change the ending to “live”)
23. I can’t imagine what I would do without you (How they (men) dream about it, therefore more often, with the right intonation and tenderness in their eyes.)
24. I am so calm next to you (same effect as in the phrase with "stone wall")
25. You are so gallant (refined compliment)
26. I'm so happy with you (Chic phrase, which is 90% of the male population)
27. I don't want you to stop loving me sometime (small suggestion)
28. I can't stop admiring you (Psychologists say that men look in the mirror more often than beautiful ladies, which means it works!)
29. I will love you forever (No need for pathos, it's better to say - "always")
30. I miss your hugs (Great phrase that works 100% when you are apart)
31. I beg your pardon
32. You are so insatiable (Men dream of being like that, so let's tell them THIS!)
33. I'm so lonely without you (Good energy, often tell him this on the phone, in letters, sms)
34. I can't wait to see you
35. I miss you so much (on the phone, in a letter - amazing effect)
36. I don't need anything but your love. (Yes, yes, cool wording, here you are hinting that he is needed as he is, without a car, apartment, etc. They appreciate it.)
37. I trust you in everything ( good phrase, works)
38. I will follow you to the ends of the world (You can also use "earth", "planet")
39. You are my prince on a white horse (or on a Mercedes. Use only in relation to a loved one)
40. Just be with me (yes, they, these boys, still believe in “just”)
41. I am so grateful to you for everything you have done for me (works well, proven phrase, works 100 percent)
42. I want to be with you forever (Oddly enough, despite some pathos, this is a phrase that many men fall for. Try it.)
43. I want to wake up next to you every morning (Gorgeous magnet, act girls!)
44. The thought of separation from you kills me (sometimes this is possible, if infrequently and on business!)
45. I have never loved anyone so much! (Do not say this very often, otherwise the man begins to think, but were there many of them, these same “no one”, and why did she set it up, what if ...? Well, in general, you understand!)
46. ​​You know how to be so gentle (great phrase, let them believe in it and become more tender, bumpkins!)
47. Your kisses drive me crazy (let him try more often)
48. I go crazy when you look at me like that (Let him look more often and more closely, this is only good for us)
49. When you leave me so bad (sometimes, but not very often, it can be used)
50. I couldn't even dream that I could meet you (yes, hook phrase)
51. My life became bright when I met you (Effective, worth using)
52. I don’t have enough words to express how much I love you (Phrase-lighter in a relationship, say once a week or a little less often)
53. You are the man of my dreams (Oh yes! The logical conclusion of this worthy list of phrases, the frequency is about once every 5-7 days, not more often).

In order not to get upset and not think about those difficult moments that a sick person and his loved ones have to endure. However, despite all attempts to shield ourselves from negativity, some of us have to deal with such a problem. In such situations, such a science as “oncopsychology” can help to properly establish communication with a sick dangerous disease. By studying her recommendations, you can understand what happens to a person who has faced cancer face to face, and establish an adequate relationship with him.

Oncopsychology in the world and in Russia

In the United States and some other countries with highly developed medicine, the problem of ethics in dealing with cancer patients is approached carefully and tactfully. If it becomes necessary to inform a person about his diagnosis, according to the norms, the doctor is obliged to devote at least 1-2 hours to solving this issue. During this time, the patient has time to realize, understand, calm down and ask the doctor questions about what needs to be done next. In the process of treatment, doctors actively work with the patient's close people, teaching them the rules of communication with the patient and providing the necessary psychological assistance.

In Russia, to report such a diagnosis, according to state regulations, an appointment with an oncologist should take no more than 15 minutes. Doctors are often placed in such conditions that they simply cannot report the diagnosis, having previously prepared the patient and established the necessary contact with him. In this case, the relatives of the patient who came with him to the oncology dispensary can help solve the problem. By such actions, close people will be able to support a person who has fallen into a difficult situation and assess the situation “with a clear head”.

In this article, we will introduce you to such basics of oncopsychology: stages of response to a cancer diagnosis, types cancer patients, syndromes that develop after recovery. This knowledge will help you understand in time a loved one who is faced with a terrible diagnosis, and choose the right tactics of behavior in relations with him.

Stages of response to a diagnosis

After the announcement of the diagnosis of cancer, people react to the news according to the same “scenario” of stress reaction. Its stages are called response stages. For each individual, they can manifest themselves with varying degrees of severity, since each of us is an individual and perceives stress in his own way, but their staging remains unchanged.

shock stage

After the news of the disease, a person rethinks everything that happens and for some time is in a state of shock.

The shock stage is accompanied by a powerful surge of emotions, under the influence of which a person cannot adequately respond to the news and be critical of his actions. After receiving the news, the whole life of the patient appears before him in a completely different perspective. At this stage, he may cry, blame himself for getting sick, arguing that he did not quit smoking, did not go to the doctor on time, wishing himself dead in order to avoid pain, etc.

At such moments, it is useless to try to help a person begin to adequately perceive what is happening. In the shock stage, even positive forecasts for recovery cannot calm him down. The best way in such a situation - let the patient throw out all the emotions and not take them close, because they are an inadequate reaction, and only after their full outburst it will be possible to start establishing contact with loved ones.

stage of denial

The stage of denial is caused by a defensive reaction of the psyche to the terrible news of the disease, and the person tries to convince himself and his loved ones that the diagnosis is wrong, everything will pass, etc. At this stage of responding to the diagnosis, the patient should be supported in everything, but this should be done until he makes the wrong decision to start treatment. It is at the stage of denial that many cancer patients try to refuse the therapy they need and seek help in alternative medicine or magic.

If denial crosses the line of common sense, then it is necessary to start working to convince the patient of the wrongness of his actions. To do this, you can provide him with arguments that ethnoscience or magic cannot cure malignant tumors, and there are many sad examples when people lost precious time, and the disease progressed, leaving them no chance of recovery that existed until the wrong decision was made.

Stage of aggression

Aggression that occurs after denial is also a defensive reaction to the terrible diagnosis of cancer. Such a reaction is aimed at protecting oneself from accusations from others of inattention to one's health. In the stage of aggression, the patient may refuse to make contact with the doctor, accuse relatives or medical staff of inattention to himself and misunderstanding of his experiences. In some cases, a person is able to blame close people for the appearance of a tumor, claiming that he was cursed, infected or damaged.

At this stage of responding to the diagnosis, relatives have the hardest time. They are forced to go through this stage of life, trying not to react to the aggression of a loved one. At this stage, do not try to convince the patient. Every effort should be made to avoid conflicts. best measure in such cases, there will be a tactic of distraction from the problem, i.e., the diagnosis. To do this, you can try to make an entertainment program, switch your attention to a hobby, etc. It can be difficult to achieve such a result, but to support a loved one, you need to make every effort to distract his thoughts about aggression and worries about health.

It is at this stage of the response to the diagnosis that the patient may begin to contemplate suicide or commit suicide. To prevent such attempts, you should talk more often with a suffering person, do not leave him alone with you, and at the same time try to carefully follow his statements in relation to life and death. It would be useful to make sure that the patient does not visit suicide sites, does not read literature related to the topic of suicide, is not interested in drugs that can cause death. If signs of suicidal tendencies appear, you should seek the help of a psychologist. Only such an attentive attitude can save you from the premature loss of a loved one.

stage of depression

After all the experiences he has endured, a person falls into depression, because at the previous stages of reaction he loses a lot of strength. The patient experiences apathy, and he is almost not interested in communication with loved ones and even treatment. Some people with cancer experience at this stage illusory contacts with the other world or visions of prophetic dreams.

During depression, the relatives of the patient should respect the changes in his life. You should not insist on dialogue if the person does not want it. Caring for a loved one during this period of his life should also not be offensive and intrusive for him, but he should feel it. If the patient does not want to talk, then you can just watch a movie with him, listen to music, leaf through a photo album, etc. Even a simple presence in the same room, in which everyone does their own thing, will become support for a loved one.

It is imperative to avoid all kinds of accusations for insufficient attention to treatment. Such behavior can not only lead to conflict, but also aggravate the patient's depression. If a loved one forgets about a visit to the doctor or taking a medication, then you should simply remind about this action in a delicate and gentle form.

In the stage of depression, the patient may still have thoughts of suicide. To prevent this act, you must follow the same recommendations that are described in the section on the stage of aggression.

Acceptance stage

The stage of acceptance is accompanied by a reconciliation of a person with a diagnosis and a change in his attitude to life. He begins to think about the importance of every minute, and perceives the fatal outcome as something natural and planned. Many oncologists note at this stage the signs of spiritual growth of their hopeless patients and the desire to help people who are faced with the same diagnosis.

At this stage of the disease, relatives should create maximum conditions for the patient to do what they love: listening to music, watching your favorite movies or TV shows, reading books, going out into nature, talking with friends, etc. Such recommendations are especially relevant for those whose illness turned out to be incurable, and the sick person knows about imminent death.

Types of Cancer Patients

Each person has their own individual reaction to the disease.

All of the above stages of response to the diagnosis of "cancer" can be different in duration and severity, since the intensity of their color depends on the nature of the patient. Some people completely enter into their illness, blaming the whole world for what happened, while others perceive a terrible illness as another test and do everything to overcome it. The first category makes poor contact with the doctor, does not believe in recovery, and it is more difficult, and the second perceives the need for therapy, hopes for its effectiveness and overcomes the disease faster.

Based on the above facts, oncopsychologists divide patients with cancer into several types:

1. Anxious and suspicious. This psychotype of cancer patients is prone to depression and exhaustion. Such people cannot stand even the slightest criticism aimed at improving their well-being. They absolutely cannot stand any aggression from others. Even a simple remark about the need to remember to take medication leads them to think that others are aggressive towards them. When working or communicating with this type of patients, one should try to divert their attention from heavy thoughts and organize distracting leisure activities: reading books, walking outside the city, accessible creativity, etc.
2. hysterical. Such patients always want to be in the spotlight, and even illness can become a reason to stand out from the “gray mass”. This feature of character can be directed to improve the effectiveness of treatment. To do this, you can praise the patient who suffers pain during any manipulation. Such attention and admiration can actually reduce pain, and the patient's mood will improve.
3. excitable. Such a psychotype of patients does not control their emotions well and quickly comes into conflict with relatives and medical staff. When working with them, you should exercise maximum patience and carefully give information about the disease or side effects of therapy.
4. Schizoid. This type of patient is prone to an intellectual attitude towards the disease, but at the same time they often try to deny that they have the disease. They are able to close in on themselves, and in some cases this can lead to. Such patients should receive as much information as possible about both the disease and the treatment process and its effectiveness.
5. Syntonic. Such a psychotype of patients easily perceives the news of the disease and adapts to stress to fight the disease. They perceive the diagnosis of "cancer" as a setting for the need to defeat the tumor. With such patients, the doctor and relatives can be frank, and a trusting relationship is always established between them.
6. Cyclothymic. Such patients often and quickly change their mood: today they are optimists, and tomorrow they plunge into depression. Relatives and doctors always have to try to talk with such people only about the good, because if the news of the bad coincides with a period of depression, then the person's condition may worsen.

Various types of cancer patients, like on a parade, will pass before the eyes of the reader in Alexander Solzhenitsyn's novel "The Cancer Ward". Schizoid Oleg Kostoglotov, synton Vadim Zatsyrko, excitable Rusanov and others, each with his own character and emotions. Surprisingly, the story told by the writer - more precisely, a lot of stories - is intertwined with the events taking place in the country and the world. Even doctors speak of the novel as an encyclopedia oncological diseases, and those who are faced with such a terrible diagnosis in real life should decide for themselves whether to read the book or leave it on the shelf.