What to say to a sick person. Types of Cancer Patients

Sometimes supporting a person in difficult times means saving his life. IN difficult situation can be both close and unfamiliar people. Absolutely anyone can provide help and support - moral, physical or material. To do this, you need to know which phrases and actions are the most significant. Timely help and sincere words will help a person return to their previous way of life and survive what happened.

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  Helping people in difficult situations

  In a person's life, there are many situations in which psychological, moral and even physical help is required. In this case, the presence of people is necessary - relatives, friends, acquaintances or just strangers. The degree of intimacy and the duration of acquaintance does not matter.

  To support a person, it is not necessary to have special education, enough sincere desire to help and a sense of tact. After all, correctly chosen and sincere words can change a person’s attitude to the current situation.

  How to learn to trust a man

  Shared experience

  

  How to cheer up a guy

  Understanding

  A person who finds himself in trouble should know that he is understood. It is very important during this period to have a like-minded person nearby. If the situation is related to the loss of a beloved man or job, remembering a personal example will be the most effective medicine. It is recommended to tell how hard it was during this period and how successfully it all ended in the end. But do not focus on your heroism and quick problem solving. You just need to say that everyone has such problems, and a friend will definitely cope with them too.

  

  How to deal with anxiety

  All will pass

  You need to convince the person that you need to wait a bit, and it will become much easier. The realization that everything will be fine will create an atmosphere of security and peace.

  Guilt

  In a difficult moment, it is natural for a person to blame himself for all the troubles. He tries to shift responsibility for actions to which he has nothing to do. In this case, the task of close people is to dissuade a person from this. Try to refute all possible positive outcomes of the situation. If there is still a person’s fault in what happened, you need to try to make amends for it. It is recommended to find words that will help convince a person to ask for forgiveness, which is necessary for his own good.

  Solution

  A direct question will be very effective, how can a person be helped in this situation. You can offer your own solutions without waiting for his appeal. Sincere interest and taking action will make you feel supported.

  In no case should you use the phrases: "forget", "do not worry", "do not cry", "it's even better." Attempts to “bring to life” with the help of screaming, accusations and sudden movements will not lead to anything. Such “help” can lead to a complication of the situation.

  How to support the man you love

  Representatives of the stronger sex try to restrain their emotions, so they most often close in on themselves. From this experience, they become even stronger, and a mental wound brings not only psychological experiences, but also physical pain. The girl at this moment should be as attentive and caring as possible, but in no case intrusive.

  If a husband has problems at work, which are accompanied by material losses, it is necessary to say the most important words for a man: “Money cannot affect our relationship in any way. I will always be there." This should be said as calmly as possible, with a smile and tenderness. Excessive emotionality or nervousness will confirm the man's fears that the relationship is purely mercantile.

  If the problems are related to relationships in the work team or relatives, an assurance that the girl is on the side of the guy would be appropriate here. He does not need to reproach himself and feel guilty. The beloved woman fully and completely shares his point of view and will do everything necessary for the successful resolution of the situation. It does not hurt to tell a man that he is strong and will definitely cope with problems. Self-esteem will not allow him not to justify the hopes placed on him. SMS with words of love or poems during the working day will cheer him up. An example of such a message:

  
  

  Words of support for the woman you love

  To help the woman you love, you should start with affection and tenderness, the essence of the problem does not matter. First of all, you need to hug her, kiss and calm her down. The most necessary at this moment will be the words: “Calm down, I am near and I love you. Trust me". Then you can continue to hug, drink tea and wait for complete calm. Only after that it is recommended to calmly sort out the situation, be sure to take the side of the beloved woman.

  Assistance, both moral and physical, should be provided. You may have to talk with the offenders, sort things out, take some action. In a word - to shift part of the work on yourself. Feeling a strong male shoulder and real help, any girl will calm down, no matter how difficult the situation. A small gift, a trip to a restaurant or a theater will quickly bring her back to her old life. Phone calls during the day, SMS in the form of words of love and support in prose or poetry will be very appropriate. An example of such a message:

  
  

  How to comfort a sick person

  Support for a sick person can be provided in the form of words and actions. But this is not always possible, since people can be at a distance from each other.

  Good words

  by the most in a valuable way to help a suffering person there will be words of support. To calm the patient, you can:

  • Speak words of love. They must be repeated sincerely, with genuine participation. By voicing the phrase: “I love you very much and will always be there,” you can calm a person, create an atmosphere of security.
  • To compliment. Sick people are very vulnerable, so they listen to every word and gesture of others. Remarks about the smallest changes in appearance for the better will sound like compliments. Even if these changes are not present, it is recommended to say about their presence. A sick person is not able to perceive reality objectively. With oncology, this will give the suffering person hope for a miracle; with a serious non-fatal illness, it will speed up recovery.
  • Praise. Praise a sick person should be for every little thing, even for a spoonful or a sip of water eaten. A positive attitude will contribute to a speedy recovery or alleviation of the patient's condition.
  • Keep at a distance. A phone call or Skype conversation would be appropriate. It is very important for the patient to hear a native voice, to see a familiar face. Further actions will be constant SMS, written poems, sent pictures and all those things that the patient likes. But the most significant will be the phrase: "I'm on my way."
  • Discuss abstract topics. It is worth moving away from boring topics and giving preference to light and fun ones. We must try to remember interesting story, anecdote, tell funny news. You can try to discuss neutral topics: a read book, a movie, a recipe for a dish - everything that will interest the patient at least a little.

  Forbidden words

  Some phrases can harm a sick person. Do not talk about the following topics:

  • Disease. You should not discuss the symptoms, look for their confirmation, give similar examples from the lives of people you know. The exception can only be happy cases of successful healing.
  • Friends reaction. It is not at all necessary for a sick person to know what kind of reaction his illness caused in others. If this touched someone, let him visit him personally (do not notify about this in advance, as the visit may break and the patient will be disappointed). A reasonable solution would be to simply say hello and tell the news about an acquaintance.
  • Personal impression. It is categorically not worth telling what reaction the disease caused in the helping person or nearby relatives. Trying to demonstrate your compassion, you can upset the patient even more, because he became the culprit of the experience and continues to torment his loved ones with his position.
  • Distance. If the terrible news about the illness of a loved one caught up far from him, the best solution would be to urgently hit the road. This must be informed. The solution of issues, negotiations with superiors regarding the departure and other problems should remain secret. The patient should not be aware of matters that may be more important than him. If it is not possible to come, then you can refer to the lack of tickets, non-flying weather and other factors. Here, a lie will be to the rescue, since waiting can prolong the patient's life.
  • A pity. If the disease is fatal, the pity of loved ones will constantly remind of this, causing a bad mood and deterioration in well-being. If the disease is not so serious, then there is a risk of its complications, because the patient will think that something is not being told to him. Sometimes the patient may have a reluctance to recover, as constant pity is addictive and even simulation.

  Useful actions

  Correct actions in relation to the patient contribute to recovery or can alleviate the course of the disease:

  • Care. Some patients need constant care because they cannot do anything on their own. But even if a person does not need enhanced care, attention and care will only benefit him. It would be appropriate to simply offer to lie down and make tea. A good help would be cleaning the apartment or cooking dinner. The main thing is to correctly assess the situation and help only if necessary. Do not forcibly remove the patient from his usual duties, persistently sending him to rest. Sometimes it’s enough just to be there and let them take care of themselves. This will allow a sick person to temporarily forget about his illness and feel needed.
  • Abstraction. It is useful to distract the patient from medical procedures and talk about pills. If a person has the ability to move around, it is necessary to persuade him to take a walk on fresh air. You can visit some events, exhibitions, museums, creative evenings, etc. The changed appearance should not be a hindrance, the main task will be to convince the patient that now positive emotions are much more important than the perception of others.

  Condolences after the death of a loved one

  The irreparable loss of loved ones causes severe suffering, which a person cannot cope with without outside help. In order to provide the necessary support in a timely manner, it is recommended that you familiarize yourself with the main phases emotional state in this situation:

  • Shock. It can last from several minutes to several weeks. The impossibility of perceiving reality is accompanied by a lack of control over emotions. Attacks can be accompanied by a violent manifestation of grief or complete inactivity with stone calmness and detachment. The person does not eat anything, does not sleep, does not talk and hardly moves. At this point, he needs psychological help. A reasonable decision would be to leave him alone, not to impose your care, not to try to force feed, water, start a conversation with him. You just need to be there, hug, take by the hand. It is important to carefully monitor the reaction. Do not start conversations on the topic: “if we had known earlier, we had time, etc.”. It is already impossible to return anything, so you should not provoke feelings of guilt. No need to talk about the deceased in the present tense, remember his torment. It is not recommended to make plans for the future: "everything is ahead, you will still have time, you will still find it, life goes on ...". It will be much better to help in organizing the funeral, cleaning, cooking.
  • Experience. This period ends after two months. At this time, a person is a little slow, poorly oriented, almost unable to concentrate, every extra word or gesture can burst into tears. The feeling of a lump in the throat and sad memories do not let you sleep, there is no appetite. Memories of the departed cause a feeling of guilt, idealization of the image of the deceased, or aggression towards him. During this period, you can support a person with kind words about the deceased. Such behavior will confirm a positive attitude towards the departed person and will become the basis for a common experience about his death. Do not give examples of other people who have experienced even greater grief. This will be perceived as tactless and disrespectful. Walks, simple activities, a simple release of emotions in the form of joint tears will be very effective. If a person wants to be alone, do not disturb him. In this case, you need to constantly be in touch, call or write messages.
  • Awareness. This phase tends to end a year after the loss. A person may still suffer, but he is already aware of the irreversibility of the situation. It gradually enters the usual mode, it becomes possible to concentrate on working moments or everyday problems. Attacks of unbearable mental pain visit less and less. During this period, he has almost returned to normal life, but the bitterness of loss is still present. Therefore, it is necessary to unobtrusively introduce him to new activities and recreation. This should be done as tactfully as possible. You should control your words and be sympathetic to possible deviations from his usual behavior.
  • Recovery. A person fully recovers one and a half years after the loss. The sharp pain is replaced by a quiet sadness. Memories are not always accompanied by tears, it becomes possible to control emotions. A person tries to take care of loved ones, now living people, but he still needs the help of a true friend.

  If the described phases are delayed in time or do not come to change, it is necessary to urgently seek help from specialists. This condition is dangerous and fraught with the occurrence of serious diseases.

  How not to get hurt

  Sincere help has its own nuances. Help is needed, but within reasonable limits:

  • You need to help only if there is a sincere desire.
  • In the case of severe grief, you need to objectively assess your strengths. If they are not enough, you should involve friends or specialists.
  • Reserve the right to personal space, do not become a hostage to the situation.
  • Do not allow yourself to be manipulated at the slightest refusal to fulfill the request.
  • Do not sacrifice your interests, work, family happiness for the sake of comforting a friend.
  • When moral or material assistance is too long, it is necessary to tactfully talk with the person, explain that everything possible has already been done to overcome the difficult situation.

  Timely assistance, a feeling of sincere compassion will help to return a person to his former life.

Oncopsychologist, Yasnoe Utro service for oncological patients.

How do you support someone who has just been diagnosed?

At the moment when a person is diagnosed, support and the presence of a loved one are important, so the first thing to do is to listen. But you need to listen sincerely, not formally. The main message: "I hear you, I understand that you are scared, I will help." Perhaps you just need to sit next to each other, hug, cry together, if appropriate - that is, share the excitement, let them speak out and not deny the person’s feelings.

It is very important not to overwhelm with advice: “I looked on the Internet”, “my friends told me”, “I urgently need to go to Germany”, and so on. This can be very annoying, so advice should be at the request of the person himself. The maximum that can be done in this sense is to offer to read something with the wording "if you are interested."

A person should feel that he has support, that they do not move away from him, they are not afraid to get infected through dishes, towels, clothes

When a person only learns about the diagnosis, he has a lot of things to deal with urgently: find a doctor, drugs, a place where he may be operated on. He may be depressed, and then he may need help just to go buy food. But you need to ask about this so as not to do a disservice and not be imposed.

As for information, it should be taken only from trusted sources. There are many different sites, tricks and lures from people who are incompetent in this. For example, healing, homeopathy and so on.

How to talk to a person who has cancer?

Each family has its own rules of communication, so much depends on the situation. I think that you need to start a conversation with yourself, talking about your feelings: “I feel that it’s hard for you. Can I help?" You should also try to maintain the same relationship that you had before the illness. A person should feel that he has support, that they do not move away from him, they are not afraid to get infected through dishes, towels, clothes.

How to deal with the illness of a loved one?

Almost every person whose relative is sick with oncology is very worried. Often he experiences even more than the patient himself, because he is in a certain vacuum.

We must immediately look at the resources of loved ones: if there is someone to talk to, share the burden, this is very good. We tell relatives that on the plane they are asked to put on a mask, first on themselves, and then on the person who is sitting next to them. If a relative who cares for a sick person is himself exhausted, he himself is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, then he will not be able to provide any quality assistance to a sick person. In general, you need to allow yourself to relax a little, be distracted, share feelings with another person.

Perhaps, by refusing treatment, a person wants to check how important he is for relatives, whether they are afraid of losing him

Next is psychological support. We urge you to call the support line, communicate with a psychologist, because the conversation itself is therapeutic. A person shares his pain, dumps emotions - like in a container. Also, a relative of a cancer patient can tell the psychologist about what is really forbidden - for example, he is angry with his mother because she is sick and dying, and this annoys him. In the family, this will be misunderstood, and the psychologist gives an invaluable perception of the situation and complete acceptance of a person who needs support and support. The psychologist can also practical advice to reduce levels of anxiety and fear.

What to do if a person with cancer refuses to be treated?

Such cases are quite common - a lot depends on the person's psychotype and the support that they provide. If this happens, we advise relatives to tearfully beg the patient to continue treatment for them, and also to show how much they love him, how much they want to see him next to them and fight together.

Some patients give up because they understand that treatment is a long journey and there will be a lot of things along the way. Perhaps, by refusing treatment, a person wants to check how important he is for relatives, whether they are afraid of losing him. In this case, you need to turn to all your spiritual qualities and show the value of a person to him.

Behind the words "I will die soon" there are always some other words that a person would like to say to you.

You also need to figure out what is behind this - perhaps these are myths and fears. As a rule, patients have a sad experience of the death of loved ones under similar circumstances, and this should be carefully spoken out, convey information aimed at reducing these fears. Here it is important to consult a psychologist who will help to look at the situation with different parties and work with those fears that prevent you from gaining confidence in your abilities and in treatment.

But still, a person’s life is in his hands, and the choice is always his. We can beg and plead for a long time, but if a person has made such a decision, we must sincerely listen to him and try to understand. In this case, it will be necessary to leave the share of responsibility on the patient himself.

How to talk about death?

The topic of death is often taboo. It's a subtle, intimate moment. Nowhere is it taught to talk about death, and much depends on how it was lived in the family when older relatives died.

Behind the words "I will die soon" there are always some other words that a person would like to tell you. Maybe he wants to ask for something - for example, help him do something unfinished. It is very important to listen to the person and understand what he really wants to convey. Perhaps he just wants to go to the sea and watch the seagulls fly. So do it! Keep the conversation going and don't close. It is very important.

Unfortunately, life consists not only of joys and pleasant moments. It so happens that it brings us bitter, sad events, which often cause a state of shock when they happen unexpectedly. IN this case I'm talking about a sudden and severe illness of a loved one. When a loved one falls ill, the whole life changes. Habits are changing, the usual way of the family.

Of course, a great physical and psychological stress falls on all households. But most of all suffers, of course, the sick person himself. And at this moment it is very important to find and say important and necessary words of support to a sick person. However, often we do not know what to say, how to behave, how to avoid uncomfortable situations and not worsen the experience of the patient and his relatives even more.

Most importantly, you need to understand that words of support, care and attention are very important. This does not depend on whether an adult or a child is sick. It doesn't matter if you're at home or in the hospital. You should always try to be as involved as possible.

What to say to the patient to cheer him up?

The most important thing that the patient needs is to feel that he remains for you the same family, loved ones, as before the illness. It is important for him to make it clear that the relationship has remained the same, that he has not become a heavy burden for you. Tell him that you love him and that you will take care of him until he is fully recovered.

To a person who is seriously ill, say words of love as often as possible, stay with him longer, talk, discuss news, consult, that is, behave as usual. Thus, you will show that the relationship has remained the same, that his opinion is still dear to you.

When you are caring for a sick person by giving him words of encouragement, come up with some simple entertainment or pleasant occupation. For example, you can watch a movie on TV together or read a book, look through a magazine.

If a child is sick, you can come up with an embroidery pattern together or assemble a picture from a mosaic. The main thing is to do everything together or with your live participation. It is very helpful to support a sick person. Read books, discuss what you read. Sometimes the words that the invented hero says are perceived by the sick child in relation to themselves. Therefore, try to pick up good books and fairy tales, where good always wins.

If not your relative or close friend is sick, but just a familiar person, do not talk to him in clichés. Frequent expressions such as "Please accept my words of support", "I'm sorry", "I sympathize" - will not bring much benefit. Therefore, find more sincere words and expressions that will really support morally.

For a loved one and a loved one, there is one single phrase that will calm him down and give him hope. Here it is: "Be calm, I will never leave you and will always be with you, no matter what happens." With these words, you make it clear to the person that he will not be left alone, he will know that you will always support him. Usually, after such words, a person calms down, becomes more cheerful and even begins to recover faster.

How else to alleviate the patient's condition

It is very important to create an atmosphere of comfort for a person. Especially if he is in hospital. Bring his favorite things, photographs, books, some items reminiscent of home to the ward from home. Put indoor flowers on the windowsill.

If the disease is not infectious, the patient will be supported by a friendly atmosphere. Therefore, invite guests - friends or colleagues. Organize friendly, warm communication with tea, cakes. This event is likely to please the sick. But, of course, you need to consider his character. If he does not like to communicate very much, think of something else. You need to understand that in each situation you need to find an individual solution.

Some Helpful Tips

Never make a secret of the fact that your loved one is sick. No need to hide it from relatives, friends. Be aware that they may take this as distrust on your part and be offended. In addition, by doing this you deprive them of the opportunity to help the patient, to show their warmth, their best qualities.

Therefore, directly, frankly, tell everything to people who are directly related to the sick person. They will appreciate your frankness. In addition, it will help the patient not to give up, but on an equal footing with everyone else to bear responsibility for their own health. This often plays an important role and contributes to the beginning of recovery.

Try to keep yourself in control, set yourself up positively. Of course, this does not mean that you need to smile and laugh all the time. Just be kind and considerate. Even a simple hug will make him feel better.

And one more thing: be tactful, do not concentrate only on your own person. When you talk to a person who is sick, depressed, you do not need to tell him funny story how you had great fun yesterday at your mutual friend. How much did you drink and what did you do next. It is unlikely that he will be interested now.

Or, for example, if a person has problems in his personal life or an unfavorable financial situation. In this case, it is not at all necessary to tell him about your new passion or purchase. country house.
Remember that words of support, your genuine participation, presence next to you in difficult times, are very necessary for a sick person. They help him recover faster and begin to recover sooner.

Even the strongest healthy man cannot be 100% sure that the disease will not break him. After all, we are all human, and therefore weak in the face of uncertainty. Much more important is that in such moments a person needs support and care. Anyone can provide them, expressing wishes for a speedy recovery. And it doesn't matter if they are in writing, delivered over the phone or said at the hospital bed.

The magic power of the word

Let it be the 21st century and mysticism is not in fashion now, but you should not assume that there is no magical power in words. After all, it is not in vain that our ancestors chose expressions so carefully and taught their children the same. As you know, a good word heals a wound, but an evil word can destroy.

Therefore, the wishes of recovery are so important in the treatment. And even if they do not have a direct effect on the wound, they are still able to cheer up the patient. And this, believe me, is worth a lot.

Wishes for recovery: how to choose the right words?

Oratory skills are not given to everyone, so do not be surprised that some find the right words with ease, while others cannot even put two sentences together. But, making up such a wish, one must be guided not by the beauty of the whole presentation, but by its sincerity.

Indeed, in such cases, the emotional component is extremely important. Otherwise, the patient may feel affected and think that this speech is just a way to dismiss him. Therefore, it is better not to send such wishes for recovery at all - there will be more harm from them than good.

It is much better to come up with just a few lines, but so that they are saturated with positive emotions. To do this, you need to imagine a sick person and scroll through the list of his positive qualities. Be sure to mention them in your wish: this will not only please the patient, but also make it clear that he is always remembered.

In what form is it better to present wishes for recovery?

What is the best way to tell someone how you feel? Well, it all depends on who you are. After all, it is one thing - relatives and friends, quite another - colleagues at work. So, you can express your wishes for recovery as follows:

1. Orally, being nearby. This method is best suited to relatives, since the norms of decency oblige at least once to visit a sick person. In addition, in a personal conversation, it is easier to convey all the feelings experienced.
2. By phone. Friends and distant relatives can express their wishes for recovery by mobile. This is due to the fact that not everyone can break out of their usual circle of duties in order to personally visit the patient. Especially if he lives in another city.
3. In writing. This option is ideal for work colleagues, because it allows you to convey the opinion of each of them. And at the same time, you do not need to go to the hospital with the whole team.

You should also immediately decide in what style the wishes of recovery will be framed. In prose, for example, it is much easier to write them, but poetry can surprise.

Examples of well wishes

You can come up with the wish yourself, but no one forbids using ready-made sketches as templates. Here are a few good examples how to compose them:

• The name of the patient, followed by the text: "Get well soon, otherwise we will have to come to your room and take you out of there by force. After all, our company will soon fall apart without such a smart and resourceful programmer."

• "Dear mother, I really want you to quickly overcome this illness. I remember how you sat on my bed when I was sick myself, and how many nights you missed sleep because of me. Now it's my turn to take care of you, so gain strength and don't worry about anything."

• My love, nothing saddens me more than your illness. If it were my will, I would take all your suffering for myself and with humility would endure it to the end. In the meantime, all that remains for me is to wish you a speedy recovery with all my heart, because you are my heart, and I love you.