How to get guests out of the house. How to drive away unwanted guests with the help of conspiracies? In the evening we start to yawn

9 ways to send out an overstayed guest.

1. "Subtle hints"

This method is perhaps the most polite. The guest needs to hint in every way that it would be time for him to leave. You need to defiantly look at your watch, get nervous, sigh and repeat, as if to yourself: "It's already midnight, and I have to get up early tomorrow ...", "Lord, it's already so late ...". In this case, it is better to constantly yawn and fiercely rub your eyes. You can also periodically contact the guest with such questions, for example: “Don’t you need to call that you are already leaving?” or "If you get off now, you'll still catch the last bus!"
If subtle hints do not help, go to next way.

2. "Starve to death"

Not bad way. It is especially effective with those guests who love to eat. Such a guest is cheerful enough, but firmly announce that there is no more food in the house! It's over! The main thing in this method is to show firmness and not allow the guest into the kitchen.

3. "Labor service"

If the guest does not want to leave, why not charge him with the work of cleaning the apartment and washing dishes. After all, after the departure of the guests, it is simply necessary to restore order.
Usually, when a guest sees a mountain of dishes in the sink and a mountain of garbage in the room, he immediately begins to pack up. simple and reliable way!

4. "Financial Aid"

This, by the way, great way not only to get a person out of the house, but also to get rid of him altogether.
Ask him to lend you money. It is better not to be shy and immediately call an unbearable amount! It's hard to say which one exactly. Everyone has their own ideas.

5. "Weak spot"

This method suitable for that host who has well studied the likes and dislikes of his guests.
Just do what the guest dislikes the most. If he does not like classical music, you need to turn on Beethoven's 5th symphony, or Prokofiev's 7th, or Rossini's opera overtures ... in general, everything that is at hand.
Or maybe your guest doesn't like animals. In this case, feel free to put your cat (dog, rat, hamster, guinea pig, ferret, snake, tarantula, parrot) on his lap with the words: “He seems to like you!”

6. "Intimidation"

If the previous methods do not help, use intimidation. Threaten that if he doesn’t leave right away, you will call the firemen, the police, the ambulance, the house manager, your brother, your friends…
If these words do not help, continue on.

7. Method.

If you have applied all the methods described above, and the guest still does not leave, we advise you to check if he is still alive?
If not, consider yourself lucky! All that was left was to call the corpse truck. And there is no need to resort to the remaining methods.
And if yes... Then we continue.

8. "Complete ignore"

This method is suitable for calm and patient owners.
If your guest is still sitting in your chair, with a magazine in his hands, then just stop noticing him. Let him read all the numbers.
You have a lot to do, so take care of them. Wash the dishes, clean the apartment, wash your face and go to bed.

9. "The highest measure"

If you consistently applied methods 1 - 8, if all rescue services visited your apartment, if the guest fell in love with classical music and is inseparable from your python, if he washed all the dishes, cleaned the room, borrowed $ 5,000 if you woke up in the morning, and he is still here and alive, then there is only one thing left - to use the method of Odysseus. Do you remember what he did with Penelope's fiancés? If you don't remember, re-read Homer's immortal poem The Odyssey. This is a very good guide for all holiday hosts.

We all have guests from time to time, and, of course, we show ourselves as good and hospitable hosts. But there are times when guests abuse our hospitality too much. Most often, these are close friends or relatives who can easily settle on your couch for a month or two. And here the obvious question arises, what actually to do with such guests? How, without offending, to hint that it would be time for them to go home already?

1. Stop acting like you have a queen or a president visiting you. Any guest with such an attitude will not want to get up from your cozy sofa. Lower the comfort bar to the reception level of a distant relative you don't see very often and don't particularly like. But just remember that you need to lower the bar gradually. And at the same time, try to motivate your actions so that the guest does not consider that he is purposefully surviving. Most often, this bar does not have time to go down to the very bottom, it is enough for you to “not have enough” money for food or “power outages” begin.

2. You can also ask your guests to help you. The efficiency of this method is almost one hundred percent. People are inherently quite lazy creatures, some are hard to get to do something around the house, even when they are not visiting. And such an offer for a person who is a little lazy and relaxed, from the owners of the house, can introduce her into a slight state of shock. For these purposes, any business is suitable, from cleaning with cooking to helping to repair the car. But remember that asking for help should be as gentle and polite as possible. Some people can pack their bags right away, others will take longer to realize that doing someone else's work is not so pleasant.

3. If you and a guest have a mutual acquaintance with whom he does not get along, then you can tell him the “good” news that this acquaintance will also arrive soon to visit. Your guests usually immediately have some line business for which they need to come back.

4. There is also another method that has amazing results, but when using it, you must do everything very carefully, otherwise the guest may be offended. To do this, it is enough just to start ignoring him and not taking into account his needs. Behave like a complete egoist. Cook food that you like exclusively, watch movies that your guest can't stomach. Play music at full volume when your guest decides to take a nap. Start early cleaning by starting it from the room in which the guest lives. And very soon, a person who has stayed at a party will understand that he is so welcome here, and it's time to pack his bags.

The rules of decency dictate that we be hospitable and kind to other people. However, in life everything is different: sometimes even the most hospitable hosts have to send unwanted guests out. Some do it subtly and courteously, without hurting their self-esteem, others do not stand on ceremony and live calmly. How to politely get rid of an overstayed friend or an unpleasant guest? This is our article.

And how will you get there?

Nobody likes when they are suddenly visited without, so the desire to speed up the departure of uninvited visitors is not a crime. After all, sometimes after a busy day there is no energy left even to cook dinner.

You can complain about being tired, not feeling well, or having a bad mood. If the matter is approaching the night, ask how they will get into such darkness. Normal people will take the hint without too much prompting and rush to say goodbye so as not to be late for the last route.

Maybe we can take a walk?

If you are a sensitive person whose intelligence and good breeding do not allow you to drive guests out of the house, try to kindly suggest a walk. For example, to his street. And do not forget, just in case, to make sure that he got safely and his company no longer threatens you.

Cold reception

This approach is practiced in relation to visitors, who are extremely unpleasant to see, but you don’t want to be rude to them and spoil your mood. Usually these are bores, shameless talkers, energy vampires and loafers who abuse hospitality.

Try to ignore their presence, show your disdain, make them feel like they're not in the house. For example, when they once again begin to bother with stupid chatter, you can do the following:

• turn on the TV louder;
• actively vacuuming, rattling dishes;
• talking on the phone with others;
• defiantly turn away;
• respond inappropriately.

Keep in mind that such inattention can offend, but you do not have to please everyone. We also do not advise you to be too sophisticated, because sometimes, in order to get rid of unwanted guests, it is enough to honestly say that they are extremely busy, and then they may remember that they have accumulated a lot of important things.

Time to clean up and wash the dishes

Some simple tricks of escorting can work wonders. The vast majority of people come to visit each other to rest, drink and relax. The best way drive uninvited guests out of the house - ask them to help with cleaning, washing, washing dirty dishes. It is unlikely that someone will want to deal with someone else's household, put things in order in the apartment.

And if you are not shy and offer to clean the clogged toilet in the toilet, the guest will certainly have an irresistible desire to quickly pack up their things and take their leave. Although sometimes, of course, there are rare specimens that are ready to carry out all assignments, just not to sit at home alone.

In order not to guess how to expel an annoying visitor in order, give the most tedious boring work. And if this method has not had the desired effect, get the most out of the obsessive assistant or act directly, without ceremony. Roughly see you out the door, frankly expressing your intention to be alone in the coming days. After all, you have a legal right to privacy.

Get up early in the morning, round off

There is a very expressive and polite word in Russian, “we round off”, which has magical powers, if it is used skillfully and at the right time. It reminds the overstayed person of the rules of decency, while in no case does it cause discomfort to anyone present.

So, wait for a pause in the dialogue, then cheerfully and as if nothing had happened, say: - How time flies, but I have to get up early in the morning! Isn't it time, comrades, to round off? At the same time, you can look at your watch, shake your head in concern, offer a goodbye cup of tea. Believe me the result will surpass expectations.

Urgent need to go

It happens that the owners, out of courtesy, have already let unwanted guests into the house, paid due attention and even drunk tea, but the lovers of gatherings sit and sit on the couch, not intending to leave anywhere. One thought is spinning in my head: how to get them out as soon as possible?

To prevent such an unpleasant outcome, state directly that you have urgent business and only 15 minutes at your disposal. You can even sigh with regret. So you send out uninvited visitors immediately and painlessly, without claims from them and damage to your reputation.

Limit gathering time

In order to expel uninvited visitors long before they begin to bother, it is enough to clearly define the boundaries of what is permitted at the very beginning.

In the evening we start to yawn

A sure-fire way to hint that the guests are late is to portray an irresistible desire to sleep with endless yawns and peeping towards the clock. Perhaps the friends did not intend to bother, but simply forgot about the time a little.

Distant relatives on the doorstep

Guests who stay up until midnight are not so terrible as acquaintances who suddenly decide to make you happy with their long-term visit and live for a week or two. Perhaps such an unceremonious disturbance of peace was provoked by some rash acts in the past on your part, so do not get angry ahead of time, leave emotions for later. Politely explain that from day to day you are waiting for the arrival of distant relatives who are already on their way. Add that they are shy, capricious and unpredictable, do not like the presence of strangers. This will change the plans of uninvited guests, and the long-awaited calm will reign in the house.

No matter how you decide, remember that everyone has the right to refuse hospitality, but only in a situation where it is really justified. For example, when we are talking about arrogant and unceremonious types, and not about close relatives and friends who need your attention and support.

Do you quickly get tired of socializing at a party or receiving guests? Do you pay attention to the smallest details and can't concentrate in a noisy place? Are you too hurt by criticism, while you are always ready for empathy? Highly sensitive people, or "new introverts," as the author of Close to Heart calls them, are a special psychological type. Such people need a certain strategy of behavior in order to enjoy life and not undermine their strength in vain. Here's what to look out for.

Learn to say "no"

Knowing how to say no is also helpful. And if you have not yet mastered this skill, it's time to learn - otherwise you will constantly suffer from overload. Among hypersensitive people, there are generally few who know how to refuse. Part of the reason for this is our emotional threshold: what seems like a trifle to less sensitive individuals, develops into a real problem for us.

“Every two months I meet with my sparring partner, who lives two hundred kilometers from my home. We only meet at my place - if I had to get into the car every time and drive such a distance, I would be exhausted long before arrival. But she, on the contrary, is resting behind the wheel, so it’s not a problem for her to come at all. Our training lasts three hours, but I definitely need to take a break, during which we disperse and rest from each other. Sometimes I'm hesitant to ask for a break, and my partner doesn't need a break at all, even though she wakes up quite early on those days to get to me. Therefore, it begins to seem to me that this is just my whim. If I work without a break, then I waste the last half hour, because by this time I am completely overloaded.

Lotte, 45

You often face a dilemma: on the one hand, you absolutely don’t want to bother others, and on the other hand, you perfectly understand that overexertion can lead to poor health or even illness, and then you will surely become a burden for loved ones.

In these situations, you might say the following:

• I apologize for my impoliteness, but it seems to me that it is time for you to go: I am very tired and simply will not be able to continue the conversation properly.
• I would love to stay, but I feel that I am starting to get tired, and if I don’t go home now, tomorrow I will have a hard time.
• It is a pity to interrupt our conversation, but we will certainly continue it at the next meeting. Now I feel like I'm starting to get tired.

If you voice this dilemma, everything will fall into place, and others will have the feeling that this decision was made with their consent.

When guests don't want to leave

In our culture, hospitality is highly valued. Until the guests themselves express a desire to go home, a polite host is supposed to treat them to coffee and entertain them with conversations. Most people can find pleasure in such a fun company for much longer. But not for those who are highly sensitive. Some hypersensitive individuals generally try not to invite guests for fear that they will sit up and completely exhaust the host.

For a year now, I have been successfully practicing the following procedure: we agree with the invitees in advance how long they will stay with me. Those who know me well are aware of my increased fatigue, so if they come for a long time, we go to different rooms from time to time so that I can take a break. The main thing is to gain courage, admitting to your guests that you are tired, and explain that you love to communicate, but you have to limit the time of communication.

How to reduce the number of visual and sound impressions

Irritants are external and internal. The overstimulation can be caused by your own thoughts or dreams, but I would like to start with the kind of heightened reaction that comes from external influences.

Eighty percent of the impressions are visual impressions, that is, we can get rid of them simply by closing our eyes. Try to close your eyes several times a day, thus stopping the flow of visual sensations. If you can’t sit with your eyes closed for a long time, find some motionless object and look at it. For example, this can be done if you are on public transport or in front of the TV surrounded by other people. The number of visual impressions can be limited by wearing sunglasses or a hat, as well as using a large open umbrella.

Ear plugs or headphones with your favorite music - lovely way cope with the flow of sound impressions. Personally, the smartphone that I always carry with me helps me a lot to deal with extraneous, annoying noises. If someone nearby suddenly starts talking loudly on mobile phone, I immediately turn on the music and fence it off from external stimuli.

Before a lecture, I also listen to music for five minutes - this allows me to completely switch off and gain inner strength. One day I forgot my headphones at home, and that day I really realized how much music helps me. While giving a lecture, I could not really concentrate: now and then fragments of phrases heard before the start of classes climbed into my head.

“Before, I never thought about it, but now that I started using sunglasses and headphones, I can walk the streets for several hours and get much less tired than before.”

Hans, 33

Sleep and other recovery methods

In a situation of overexcitation - and this happens often - most of all you want to crawl under the covers and fall asleep. Therefore, you run the risk of spending much more time under the covers than you need. Sleep is a useful activity, but only if it is used to treat lack of sleep. But they definitely can’t cure hyperstimulation. On the contrary, sleep can make you even more tired - for example, if you often dream.

Many hypersensitive individuals complain that if they go to bed in a state of overexcitation, they sleep badly. Before you climb under the covers, try to find inner peace.

“Almost every night before I go to bed I draw or write a little. In this way I manage to make my thoughts clearer. And because of that, I sleep much better.”

Rita, 70 years old

The time it takes to recover from stress and get rid of fatigue is what I call vegetative time. It by no means presupposes complete inaction, the main thing is to turn attention within oneself, to protect oneself from external impressions as far as possible, and to direct all one’s forces precisely to streamlining the impressions already received. This time can be spent performing some mechanical activities, such as washing dishes or walking. At such moments, the brain performs colossal work, thanks to which the forces are restored quite quickly.

Even though too much sleep is a waste of time, it never hurts to take a silent nap. If you sleep for more than half an hour, sleep becomes deep, and in the daytime will not bring much benefit. When you wake up, you may feel overwhelmed and sleepy for the rest of the day. Therefore, if you decide to take a nap during the day, do not forget to set an alarm.

Water, movement and touch

Many highly sensitive people find water extremely attractive, it has a wonderful effect on them. Moreover, this does not depend on the type and volume of the water substance at all: it can be in the glass from which we drink, in the lake around which we walk, in the bath where we lie, or in the pool where we come to swim. Personally, I do a foot bath almost daily - my feet just love it. Having steamed my legs well, I rub them cosmetic oil. This procedure helps to relax, and if you do it before going to bed, then you will sleep soundly and serenely.

Contact with your body can be established with the most different ways. Some run in the morning, others do dance or yoga. Particularly beneficial effects are exercises, the purpose of which is to restore harmony between the body and breathing.

“If I am too tired to communicate and external impressions become a burden to me, I find joy in movement, and I train right at home. Firstly, it allows you to get to know your own body better, secondly, I am not wasting my time, well, and thirdly, I have already managed to pump up excellent biceps!

How to confess to others in your own hypersensitivity

“Who should tell about your hypersensitivity?” I am often asked at lectures and seminars. Personally, I am convinced that it is necessary, first of all, for your loved ones to know about your hypersensitivity. Some admit this to their work colleagues. Judging by the reviews of the majority, having learned about such a feature of a subordinate, the authorities begin to take care and provide various kinds of support. However, some argue that colleagues do not take such confessions seriously, considering these people inferior or suspecting them of pretending to push their part of the work onto others.

I myself rarely call myself hypersensitive. I usually talk about things that I can't do without, that I'm particularly good at, and that I'm completely incapable of. It is not necessary to tell everyone that you owe your talents to your own hypersensitivity. The main thing is to remember this yourself and always take into account the fact that all people are different.

Buy this book

Discussion

Comment on the article "Tired of communication? How to send guests out - and 4 more tips"

Tired of communication? How to send guests out - and 4 more tips. Learn to say no When guests don't want to leave Learn to say no. Knowing how to say no is also helpful. And if by now you are...

Discussion

Watching who. At the age of 16, she could not tell every outsider. Now even parents have learned.

This seems like a juvenile question to me.
In what cases is it supposed to say the same “no” that had to be learned?

01/13/2019 11:20:20 p.pevchaya

Stop talking without explanation. Girlfriends, friends. About his own, about a girl's. Discussion of questions about the life of a woman in the family, at work, relationships with men. Later it turned out that she left home, from her husband and son, began to be homeless and drink.

Discussion

So that there is no direct "light in the window". But, I already wrote somewhere here, I had an old friend, since childhood, who one day, for no apparent reason, put my phone on her "black list" (I did not immediately understand why I suddenly could not reach her call, people explained about the "black list") and stopped communicating. Later it turned out that she left home, from her husband and son, began to be homeless and drink. A prosperous "home" girl, a music school, an English special school, a red diploma at the institute ...

The light in the window is my husband and children.
Yes, there was a similar situation with a friend. He does not answer in social networks, although he added to friends. It's a little sad, but I'm not going to make a tragedy out of it. Especially since I'm not going to deal with it.

Pretend that your spouse didn’t say anything to you, ask the guest “how are you, how was your day, listen, maybe we’ll arrange a farewell tomorrow” Arriving to visit my parents somehow, I was waiting for people with I was generally stunned when I saw that you were removed . Listen, what a shame...

Discussion

In A. Chekhov, in one story, the landowner was overstayed, like you, with another landowner, all the time scolding his wife and family. When the owner, tired of him, asked for a loan of money, he immediately moved out. I applied it: I found out that one couple was going to visit, called him and asked for a 15 thousand loan. They didn't come. Try it. Classics teach. Gabriel

26.05.2018 21:53:14, [email protected]

I had such a case. Arrived (an old friend of her husband) without an invitation. I thought for a day or two, anything can happen, we are people too. I lived for two or three weeks, I do not remember. She fed, watered, cleaned and crossed herself when she moved out. Time passes, appears again. Moreover, in the very first conversation, he talks about plans for the future - to come with his family to next year Couldn't stand it! She reported that there are many hotels in Moscow and other places of temporary residence for guests of the capital. I fed him from the road and escorted him out of the door, blessing him. After some time, it reappears. But I already hung the chain on the door. and did not let him into the apartment. we lived then in a communal apartment, without hot water and in the same room. Love yourself and your loved ones.

05/25/2018 09:16:50, St. Petersburg

You have been invited to visit. For a long time. It's not better to immediately politely refuse. We grab onto all household chores in order to be able to reproach relatives: "You see how to do it!" Section: Fathers and children (how to politely refuse distant relative visit).

05/15/2018 04:31:54 PM, Just everything

We are also moving from Siberia to the south for permanent residence, we haven’t even left yet, but my husband’s relatives and his friends are already in line! (((So the post is relevant! (My relatives, more tactful and well-mannered people, have never even hinted at this topic))))

05/15/2018 04:22:04 PM, Olga Olgina

Read Kharms' verses to the guest: I have a guest, There is a nail in his head. It was I who scored it, so that the guest would not As my eldest son joked: farewell in English is to leave slowly without attracting a hundred years, I know another version - "the British leave without saying goodbye, the Jews say goodbye ...

Stop thinking about his second life, about his wife - what do you care? If he suits you like this - stop lying to yourself and live happily with him. At first I felt sorry for her, really, to live for many years with a man and find out that he no longer wants to live with you.

Discussion

Roll out a statement to the police about the persecution. It helps.

02/13/2014 10:34:04 AM, switch

change number?

But in general, to reach the stage of "close communication", to know that a man has children with whom he closely communicates - and not to find out whether he is married, or a widower, etc. - sur simple.

How did you imagine yourself, where did his _children_ come from, with whom do they live and how is everything arranged in general?)

With strangers - I just leave communication, I stopped talking with my own. The situation is terrible - terrible, everyone except me in the family communicates with him, and Stop self-criticism, your family relationships have developed as they have developed. What to do if the son is divorced

Discussion

I had a conflict with my father in July, I told him everything I wanted, though in a letter, a very serious conflict, connected not only with the moral, but also with the material side. he still does not communicate with me. but I do not regret it, it is easier for me that I told him the truth, although, I repeat, even in writing. therefore, in order not to cry after phone calls, I propose next time to openly declare to him: I couldn’t stop hearing about your adopted daughter, why are you not interested in me and your own grandson as she is. and see the reaction. the fact that you will not cry on this day - I guarantee.

Is your father still healthy and strong? So tell him everything that you have boiled. In colors, with a prologue and an epilogue. Until it's not too late.

And stop waiting for his sincere approval. Don't wait.

Tired of communication? How to send guests out - and 4 more tips. I usually don’t wait, after all, guests, well, or maybe it’s customary in our family, we cook, clean, wash everything ourselves) and even think so, it’s not particularly convenient for guests to do something in someone else’s apartment, you never know. ..

how to refuse guests? Friends, guests. Family relationships. making comments and calming down only at my house is useless, as you understand. Almost all of my friends fell out of the social circle for several years when they gave birth, then they began to communicate again.

Discussion

So say: oh, the child is teething, very restless, let's next time. And all politely, humanly. They will understand. They have small children themselves. but they don’t understand - their problems

08/02/2013 14:11:37, ZlyukaBober

We can meet there and there, in a cafe near the subway. Then we have plans.
I don't understand all this stuff with babies.

Advice is needed about him, and in general about all the situations in life that will be. I am a rather soft person and in some way always doubting, for example, my will is not strongly expressed in me - I have a will. Tired of communication? How to send guests out - and 4 more tips.

Discussion

I don't want to today.

"I don't invite M after the first meeting for tea."
"It's not in my principles to invite men after the first date home or go to them."
"I don't think we're familiar enough."
____
My personal vision - he specifically hints at you about sekas, what kind of tea is there)). It is active - and you actively and clearly formulate your thoughts. If he evades a date or does not call again after it under such conditions, everything will be clear with him.

Tired of communication? How to send guests out - and 4 more tips. Breeding them is not a decision; you have to leave there is no place for you, but give the child to the mother. 04/14/2017 07:28:24 PM, Not an acquaintance. He probably also feels the burden of these guests, but since. they are his "friends" he cannot himself...

Discussion

Do you have many poor and uncultured (they don't bring anything to visit) relatives and acquaintances? Are you feeding them for the first time? They never said "by chance" at the table as everything is expensive now and how much you personally spent on the table, how much effort was there?! And you should have complained. So as not to be impudent.

no, just say that since there are a lot of you, and I’m alone, you will help me with cooking, but it’s better to cook it yourself, and I will decorate the house

Section: A serious question (the son left the family and stopped communicating). The son left home. What to do, I don’t find a place for him to be 18 in February, he left saying that we consider him small, we don’t let him walk for a long time, etc.

Discussion

Relax. Now the holidays are over - the everyday life will go with its tedious life :)) So enjoy the communication with Masha, wait for the development of events. But at the same time, realize that the boy has grown up - it's time to let him live his life. Mine, at the age of 13, faded into the Cossack corps for New Year's holidays. It was a pity, of course, to let go ... Yes, even on December 30 ... But "Mom, you understand, I REALLY need this" and where will you trample?

There is no single recipe.
But, in any case, parents either need to reconcile themselves to the life of their son o-separately from them (in the end, not this one, so another family will be glad to "feed and water", if their daughters are like that a shot at dawn; also given a job to find, perhaps along with accommodation), or humble your authoritarianism and change the tone. For example, you can talk about the danger of returning home late - if the area is especially criminal - you can - about the need to spend time studying, but you can’t - in your style of “we don’t let you walk for a long time”, especially to decide for him "I think to send him to the army": if he wants - he will go himself, - if he doesn’t want to, if he has the right to defer - they will study for the time being. If it is not clear, imagine that your mother is still alive with you, who, word for word to YOU ​​AND NOW, repeats what you say to your son. Just be honest, don’t indulge yourself with the difference in positions - (he studies, you work - so he left so as not to depend on you), experience (offensiveness of words - does not depend on it, and anyone - a person wants only respect - ia to yourself), something else. - If it’s a shame to hear such a thing - YOU in YOUR address, it’s a shame and son-y. Think and check on this "tuning fork".
I would not force the situation either: - the son left and is waiting for the development of events. If the family where he went is ready to keep him for a long time, none of your speeches will bring him back FAST. If it is not possible to stay there for a long time, then all the same, he will return SOON. Whether over-long is a different question. Therefore, don’t get it: don’t call for a couple of weeks, if it’s his first step - predictively it’s better and the compromise will turn out to be “cheap-evle” for mom, in general, the more often mom calls, the more interesting it is not to return home son. T-therefore: "Come back, I'll forgive everything"-, - is also not an ideal position.-
For the future - it's easier not to bring it to the ear, than to return it. Those. it is necessary to make concessions a little earlier than the situation becomes explosive, it is also desirable to feel this ripening explosion, and not let it take its course, e-say: "Where are you going to go?". Read the conference about elderly relatives, what they write (h-more ladies) about their control by moms and dads and the unbearability of living together. There n-e always write about the weak, there are topics about working ... when -

Tired of communication? How to send guests out - and 4 more tips. No, most likely it was an instruction on what to do, where to turn, who to call, who to say what, where to get money in the event of his death. And so far (they have not signed yet), she behaves like this.

Discussion

Make a contract for accommodation with a friend in a simple handwritten form. Something like that:

CONTRACT
"___" _________ 200__
Citizen of the Russian Federation ________________________________-__________________ (passport series _______________ No. _________, issued by __________________________, ___________________ registered at ______________________________-_), hereinafter referred to as the “Owner of the apartment”, on the one hand, and citizen of the Russian Federation ______________________________-____________________________ (p-passport series _____________ No. _____________, issued _____________________________
______________________________-_______________, registered at ______________________________-_____________), hereinafter referred to as the "Tenant", on the other hand, have entered into this agreement as follows:
Subject of the contract
1. Under this agreement, the Apartment Owner provides the Tenant with the opportunity to temporarily use and live in an apartment owned by the Owner of the Apartment, located at: ______________________________-____________. The Tenant undertakes to return the specified Premises after the expiration of this agreement in the condition in which he received it.
2. The owner of the apartment bears the cost of maintaining the apartment (rent paid to the housing office, including utilities per apartment area).
3. The tenant bears the cost of utilities per person, the use of electricity (at the time of check-in meter reading _______________), cable TV and other additional services which he will use.
4. The tenant is liable for damage caused to a third party as a result of using the apartment.
5. Each of the Parties has the right to cancel this agreement at any time by notifying the other Party about it one month before the termination of the agreement.

Apartment owner _____________________ /__________________/
Tenant ______________________ /__________________/

This will be some reason for your girlfriend to be in the apartment if (suddenly!) Someone comes to check on her there. You do not receive income under this agreement. And she has a right to be there.

This contract does not need to be shown to the eldest at the entrance - she is NOBODY. This contract must be shown to the policeman if he asks what your girlfriend is doing in your apartment without you.
Respond to all appeals of the "head at the entrance" to you with the requirement to provide you with documents confirming her legal authority to make this appeal.

Come out of the room, the husband defiantly grabs his head, "oh, guys, we need to get out, there is such a girlfriend, such a girlfriend ... Vasya, let's go to your place for a walk." He calls a taxi, starts getting dressed, you don't let him in at the last second, when all the guests are already at the door, and he, like, hesitated.

Because it became absolutely impossible to communicate with him. :- (Why can't we all just live in peace? And at the same time, asking for a visit, warn that you are just going to drink tea with your cake, that you don’t need to lay a self-assembly tablecloth in front of you

Discussion

I have such a mother-in-law called a viper, at first I even changed my makeup because of her, with her help I found the qualities of all the most disgusting animals. It lasted for three years, there is something to remember.
Let them in and let them fully enjoy the company of children, leave them without lunch, but with groceries, before leaving, load the washer, leaving to say: “Well, for you, all this is just to spit”, coming to complain about the mess formed from her presence, but nice, like “only in the morning tidied up for you, and already such a mess."
To nitpick about order, parry “When I become OLD, I’ll also learn,” and about clothes and style, “He doesn’t like old fashion,” and I finally finished these quivering words about night cakes by saying that my mother always had enough intelligence and money to buy them in good bakeries, and cakes like "manniks" I can't breathe. For 8 years, the mother-in-law is almost silk.

If the problem is that you are afraid of infection, then IMHO 10 thousand times: I do not approve of such behavior. It is very similar to the fairy tale "Wise Martha (I think Martha)", in which the girl found an ax sticking out of the wall in the underground, and suffered for a long time that when her son was born and he had a wedding, he would go underground for something - one day, and the ax will fall on him.
What is the problem: warn that you will not let the sick on the threshold, and make sure that they wash their hands when they arrive. Do you go outside with your child? What about the clinic? And never went to the store with a stroller? Why do you think there are fewer germs than the guests bring?

But if you don’t want to communicate with your husband’s relatives, then this is a completely different matter. In this situation, you can come up with any plausible pretexts :-)

Tired of communication? How to send guests out - and 4 more tips. Some hypersensitive individuals generally try not to invite guests for fear that they will sit up and completely exhaust the host. For those who know me well...

Discussion

In your situation, the only thing I would never do is cook dinner for 4. It was hot for them to meet, for God's sake, with their grubs, they can be warmed up in the microwave .. and I would go to sleep when I need to, and not when the guests have had enough, tk. a dream is sacred to me :) Do not be offended, just talk and explain to your husband how everything looks from your "bell tower", not all people are "flexible" and able to drastically change their plans, by the way, I consider myself more flexible, I take it easy surprises, but only pleasant :) but "flexibility" has its limits ..

He probably also feels the burden of these guests, but since. they are his "friends" he cannot force himself to kick them out, he feels "not entitled" while they are "homeless".
Or maybe collect their things and put them on the stairs, take their keys from them?

Without an invitation and advance notice is considered a rather ill-mannered act. After all, hosts can have things to do, work from home, cleaning, heat or bad mood. Some people, obsessed with a thirst for communication and confident in their own irresistibility, sincerely believe that their appearance at a party is an excuse to drop everything and start having fun. Convince such visitors that they do not always choose right time difficult but real.

An unwanted guest can be persuaded to leave right out of the door. To do this, come up with some simple, but tedious business outside the apartment. Going to the store in this case is not suitable, as the visitor will decide that you are trying for his sake and will volunteer to help. But in line at the clinic or a visit - good options. Your visitor will not want to turn his sparkling visit into a visit to a hospital or housing department. Naturally, for credibility, you will have to get dressed and go out in the right direction. On the other hand, it will give you the opportunity to complete some boring tasks that you have been putting off for a long time. For example, in fact, make an appointment with a doctor or submit documents.

Most people understand hints, but some need to hint more directly. If you are not just not happy with the guest, but really busy or feel bad, you can say so. Moreover, this should not be done in the form of opposition: “I have a headache, the temperature, but you pass, make yourself at home,” but as harshly and unequivocally as possible: “I feel bad, come another time.” In this way, you may darken the radiant mood of the visitor, but at the same time teach him to warn about his intention to enter in advance.

If the unwanted guest has already entered your apartment, settled down on the couch and demands a small talk, try to inform that in the near future someone whom your visitor cannot stand for one reason or another will join you. Try to demonstrate how happy you are about the future visit of the second guest, how long you have been waiting for him, and how, finally, everything has successfully coincided. With a high degree of probability, your obsessive visitor will simply run away.

Sometimes guests sneak into your home pretending not to get the hint. You can play the same game and put an unwanted visitor out the door with his own methods. Try not to act like the poor Winnie the Pooh Rabbit (“Rabbit was very, very well-mannered”), but use the methods of coarse plush. If the guest hints that he is hungry because he did not have time to dine, do not rush to offer him the first, second and compote. Say that in vain he treats his stomach so much that you need to take care of yourself, that you, for example, literally ate, and now you don’t want anything until the evening, or even until the morning.

note

If you are going to visit yourself, coordinate the visit with the hosts in advance so as not to feel like an unwanted visitor who they are trying to get rid of.

Helpful advice

Mention several times in conversations that you don't like unannounced guests. Thus, you will untie your hands in the future by warning your friends in advance.

Sources:

• Keep unwanted guests away

A guest in the house is joy, a feast and a sea of ​​​​positive emotions. But exactly until the moment when the owners want to relax in silence. If the clock is approaching midnight, and the merry company is still not going to leave your apartment, you can unobtrusively contribute to their care.

Instruction

Show concern for your buddies. The time is already late, the metro will close soon, the last bus is about to leave. Volunteer to personally see what time the desired transport departs, offer to call your friend's husband and ask to meet her. Guests, most likely, will not notice that you are seeing them off, but they will be touched by care.

Stop putting new snacks and bottles on the table. With regret, inform the guests that everything is over, having previously hidden the Olivier in the refrigerator. After a while, start collecting empty dishes from the table. The hint is clear - there is nothing more to wait in this house, it's time to leave.