Funny, funny, witty, humorous phrases, aphorisms, quotes about alcohol and smoking about alcohol and smoking. Funny aphorisms about alcohol

When I eat, I am deaf and dumb.
When I drink, I am much more sociable.

Yellow wine is called white because it is made from green grapes. To hell with logic!

Will you have dry wine?
- pour...

Rules of the Poytsov Club.

First: Never mention the Poyce Club.
Second: don't mention Poytsov's club anywhere.
Third: a member of the club shouted "stop", ran out of steam, passed out - the drinking party is over.
Fourth: only two people participate in the drinking party.
Fifth: booties go one after another.
Sixth: take off shoes, shirts, leave valuables outside the club.
Seventh: Bukhalovo continues as long as necessary.
Eighth and last: the one who first came to the club will be mortally smashed.

Dear, I'm sorry I offended you yesterday. Will two beers make amends for me?
— A box of vodka!
- Oh, look how vulnerable!

Of course, he was not an eagle, but he flew quickly for beer.

Still, the girls are mysterious creatures - sometimes they can’t open a jar of tomatoes, then after three glasses they open the beer with their eyes.

The more you know, the stronger you drink.

A can of beer decomposes for 100 years, but the car body rots in 1-2 years!

Just 26 liters of beer is enough for an adult to cover the daily need for calcium.
Healthy eating is easy!

Do you want to know what I think of you?
Buy me a liter of vodka... Sit back comfortably... And listen...

The title of "Psychologist of the Year" was once again won by vodka.

Every day I buy vodka. Am I a shopaholic?

— Excuse me, is there rum or whiskey in this cocktail?
— No, what are you, this is a non-alcoholic party.
“Tell me, where is the exit?”

A good interlocutor not only listens attentively, but also pours on time.

I won’t allow a hangover - I won’t get sober!

- I'm Victor, and I'm an alcoholic, I drink vodka.
- I'm Anatoly, and I'm an alcoholic, I drink whiskey.
- I'm Sergey, and I'm an alcoholic, I drink tequila.
— I'm Roman and I'm a bartender. Accepted orders.

Whiskey-Cola is for wimps, you're Russian.
Only vodka-vodka, only hardcore.

Vodka "Avatar" - learn to control the blue body.

Do you have anything to drink?
- Tea coffee…
- Fu, bad, bad, bad friend!

- Shall we have a drink?
The most sober thought of the whole day.

According to doctors, 100 grams of vodka kills 100,000 brain cells, and there are 4 billion in total. Through simple calculations, I realized that I have minus 4 brains.

The logic teacher went crazy when he couldn't wipe dry wine with a damp cloth.

Alcohol does not help you find the answer, it helps you forget the question.

Said NO! Alcohol ... It turned out that cognac does not hear ...

Alcohol kills nerve cells. Only the calm remain.

Alcohol is for the weak. The strong enjoy depression.

The main inexhaustible resources of our country are sadness and longing and alcohol.

Zero mood? Hello hard alcohol.

Three reasons for alcohol abuse: everything is good, everything is bad, there is nothing to do.

On New Year's Eve, a person is 80% alcohol, the remaining 20% ​​Olivier.

- And who was the initiator of your relationship?
- Alcohol..

Scottish proverb: "Send a fool for scotch tape, he will bring duct tape."

- Scalpel, clamp, alcohol, scalpel, clamp, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol for everyone ... remember.

“... And now we will pass this big wall, and you will see an area where everyone has stopped drinking and smoking.” We revived. They rushed to the windows of the bus. The wall ended, and we saw a huge city cemetery.

Russian business is to steal a cistern of alcohol, sell it, and drink the money.

Joints ache - to rain ... teeth ache - to the dentist ... friends whine - to booze!

In Sparta, lazy and alcoholic children were thrown into Russia.

If ants lift 10 times their weight... then 50 grams of ants can be sent for a bottle of vodka!

Are you a satanist?
- I'm a glass drinker.

It’s too late to drink Borjomi when you have already bought cognac.

The biggest mistake in life is to take one bottle of whiskey and think that enough is enough.

After a bottle of cognac, the conversation turns into a leak of information.

When she's drunk, she's hard to find, easy to lose, and impossible to stuff into a cab.

A bottle of vodka that fell from a tower crane did not break ... but fell into the hand of a very out of breath crane operator.

And what are we going to do in this situation?
- We buy cognac, then we improvise.

How good it would be to have a heart of stone, a rubbery nervous system, and whiskey instead of blood.

If you go for the smell of alcohol, sooner or later you will meet me.

I woke up from the cold and smiled, thinking: “It was she who pulled the blanket over as usual.” And then I realized that I was sleeping drunk in the stairwell

- Are you with friends for a long time?
- No. Quickly get drunk and back.

Drunk Natasha had almost calmed down and stopped singing songs in the cabin, but then a flight attendant named Zhanna approached her.

Well, the laws have gone - now you can’t buy courage, bravery and indifference in the store after 23 hours.

According to doctors, fifty grams of cognac at dinner is not only healthy, but also not enough.

Love and be loved.
Drink and be drunk.

The Americans came up with Skype, but the Russians have gone further ... they drink on Skype.

I am treated with beer, honey and cinnamon
This is a good method
But there is no honey, cinnamon too
Therefore, already drunk.

“And where will you be from?”
- Yes, from anywhere - even from glasses, even from glasses. You, most importantly, pour!

I am very ashamed, I want to apologize to you ...
- Yes, you went.
- ... and a liter of whiskey.
- Come I will give you a hug.

A normal handbag should hold at least two and a half.

Remember, first take pictures, and then drink!

Yevgeny Sidorenko opened a bottle of beer with the corner of his diploma, and this is the first case in 11 years when a higher education diploma has helped a person.

A teetotaler is a weak person who succumbs to the temptation to deny himself pleasure.
(A. Bire)

— Buy! Buy! Buy! Oh please!!!
"Sergey Petrovich, I told you, I'll pass the exam myself!"
- Well, at least give me cognac!

No, of course, I could not drink on Fridays, but one must somehow separate one week from another.

A trucker who regularly transports vodka differs from his colleagues with iron nerves and very sad eyes.

- Mom, take me to my birthday at McDonald's.
- You're 25, go to a club, get drunk.
- I can't drink anymore, I'm tired, mom!

If I open a pint and a half of beer, I immediately throw away the cap.
It's called "burning bridges".

And today I will drink everything that begins with the letter S.
Champagne, chamogon, spirt and shonalut!

What is the difference between alcohol and whiskey?
- You can drink alcohol.
- What about whiskey?
- We need whiskey.

Irish Wisdom

Free advice to Jehovah's Witnesses: go from apartment to apartment right in the morning and with mineral water for sale. People will give money and believe in God.

Only in Russia, in addition to acquaintances, friends and buddies, there is also such a type of dating as "thumping together."

And then we grind with beer and go to bed.
Are you sure this is how the wedding should go?

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a whole day. Teach a man to fish - alcoholism, lost weekends, divorce.

To avoid being bitten by mosquitoes, take half a lemon, a bottle of tequila, a salt shaker and do not go outside.

How nice it is when you wake up after drinking and see - everything is destroyed, looted ... a mountain of unwashed dishes ... but the house is not yours.

Growing up is when at the entrance to the supermarket you look not at ice creams, chocolates and soda, but at whiskey, cognac, beer and gin.

- What a lovely girl! How old are you?
- One hundred grams of tequila, please.

I always thought that a glass on the package means that the purchase should be washed.

He told her: “Enough is enough! You got me! I'm leaving you!". I'm leaving. I hear a shot. Shot?! I'm coming back. Champagne opened...

A person who does not know how to manage his life, after a bottle of vodka already knows how to manage the country.

And after all with whom only you will not be led to be typed!

Frank, do you run in the morning?
- No.
- And why, because it is very useful?!
- Maybe, but I have ice falling out of my whiskey.

(from an interview with Frank Sinatra)

I want to drink and beat my loved ones.
Maybe love and be loved?
- What about drinking?

Only our man can drink money with the one from whom he borrowed it.

The terrorists who seized the distillery have been unable to formulate their demands for the fifth day.

Why do they write on VKontakte on the left which of their friends will celebrate their birthday tomorrow, and where and at what time they don’t write to drink?

I am neither an optimist nor a pessimist. I'm an alcoholic. In my case, the glass is half whiskey, half cola.

How do you imagine the perfect date?
Me and a bottle of whiskey.

How to go to bed early to get enough sleep:

1. Get drunk at 11 p.m.
2. Sleep like the dead at 12
3. Wake up with the first dry morning at 6 am, or even earlier.
4. I don't want to sleep anymore

Family status:
I like to drink alone with sad music.

This is from fatigue, this is from nervous tension, and this is from depression.
- Thank you Doctor. Do you have anything but whiskey?

In the name of Lucifer, Beelzebub and the six princes of darkness!
- Man, I'm telling you for the last time that alcohol is prohibited for sale after 23.00.

“I don’t understand how you can drink every day.
“Then there’s no point in talking about things you don’t understand a damn thing about!”

I never understood how cats drink milk until I broke a bottle of Jack Daniels in the kitchen last night.

Moonshine boasted that it had passed fire, water and copper pipes.

So, son, so, one step, one more step ... Well done! Masha! Bring the camera quickly, my son is back from graduation!

Give me whiskey and I'll show you how philosophy is born.

If on Monday morning you did not wake up, but resurrected, then the weekend was a success.

They dropped the whiskey on the floor - they tore off Katya's hands ...

- Why don't you shave?
- I don’t have a girl for whom I would like to shave ...
- And for yourself?
And I buy beer for myself.

Grandmother realized that the compote had fermented when grandfather approached her and asked: “Beauty, are you in a relationship?”

If you do not drink for a long time, hatred for all living things accumulates in the body. It is necessary to thump.

What makes you drink every day?
- Nothing forces, I'm a volunteer.

I'm not perfect, but neither are you.

— Bartender, two tequilas!
- No tequila. There is baked milk, as you like.
- What?
Your grandmother called me.

When you drink in a company, there always comes a period when everyone becomes politicians, psychologists, wise centenarians.

Opening a Coke, I smell whiskey on the machine.

Whiskey. If you read this word with the stress on the first syllable, you are an alcoholic.

I like sports! Lifting-flipping a glass, leaving the table, orienteering.

– Girl, what are your favorite flowers?
- Whiskey and Tequila.

The fastest way to open bright prospects is with a corkscrew.

— Do you have vodka?
- Are you 18?
- Do you have a license?
- Well, okay, okay, what got wound up right away ...

With every person in life there will be a story of drunkenness, on which it will be possible to write a book.

It seems to me that my fumes can disperse the armed conflict in Syria or just kill people.

Vodka is an amazing drink: the taste is always the same, but the adventures are always different!!!

The head of the apiary could never determine by his face whether his employees were drinking or working.

The more alcohol in your blood, the slower you will decompose in the coffin. Remember this, remember and act.

Who is drunk and loved
Invincible.

If you can’t drink beer in your underpants at your workplace, then somewhere in your life you turned the wrong way.

He left big sport for a long binge, but even there he continued to break records out of habit.

Germany hosted a beer festival. Tambov resident Oleg Ivanovich, who watched the festival on TV, drank the most beer.

Do you drink?
If it's a question, then no, but if it's a suggestion, then yes!

- How often do you drink alcohol?
- More than once a week.
- And more specifically?
- Seven.

What happens if you drink a lot of vodka?
- It will be the day after tomorrow ...

Everyone goes to the gym to look good in the summer. And I'm preparing the liver for the summer.

Alcohol increases sex drive. Sometimes you drink, lie on the floor - and how it will carry you away that you don’t feel like getting up until the morning.

Good people end up in a bar when they die.

It's so funny when men say:
- You drink, and you will not be shy.
I beg you! If I drink now, you will be shy!

When you glue wallpaper, the main thing is that there are no bubbles.
And then we somehow took two bubbles ...

Friday! Evening! Time to shift the load from the brain to the liver!

Alcohol is the tears of a man. When a woman feels bad, she cries, when a man feels bad, he drinks. And nothing else. By no means the other way around. A sobbing man is worse than a drinking woman...

The accident happened at the beer festival - the wife visited the garage.

Garry Kasparov spent two days drinking with a calculator after the match against the computer.

Alcohol can be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.

Beer is an amazing thing! It always gives you pleasure: both when it enters you and when it leaves.

One gram of alcohol adds 9 kcal. It turns out that vodka can dine. And, by the way, it is now clear why after a large amount of vodka one often feels sick. It's probably from overeating.

Andryukha bitten by a vampire
And three hours later a vampire
Sitting on a bench with men
Thinking for three.

- What does it matter to you - what is vodka, what is candy? Can't distinguish?
Why can't we? Can! Sweets are sweet and vodka is delicious!

There is nothing impossible in this world, the main thing is not to have a snack ....

Only in our country the phrase “improve your health” means to get drunk even more than yesterday ...

If a glass breaks - fortunately, if happiness breaks - to a glass.

If you are in a bad mood, you need to sip vodka, sip beer and add cognac.
And then for sure ... Suddenly the clouds will dance ... And the grasshopper will sing on the violin ...

Still waiting for the day when I can download alcohol from torrents.

Adult life is cool! You can walk all summer, drink and have fun as much as you like ... on the way to your two jobs.

Do you really love me?
- No, I drink with you. Everything that happens after I get drunk has nothing to do with me at all.

Was drunk, decided not to go home by car.
Decided to take the bus.
Arrived safe and sound.
This is surprising because I have never driven a bus.

I really want to drink at the wedding, please marry someone.

I left in English.
- You threw up on the carpet, pushed the guests aside and wished everyone to burn in hell.
“You will never understand the manners of a gentleman, plebeians.

I quarreled with my husband. I'm sitting in the kitchen. It's a shame. I don't want to see him. He enters, puts three bottles of champagne on the table with the words: “We will drink until we like each other”

The other day a girl says to me:
- From tomorrow you WILL NOT thump anymore!
And I look at her and happily think:
- So much time together, and how much optimism there is in her ...

My talent is to thump! And talent, as you know, you can’t drink away.

The most common summer sports are: literball, figure staggering, synchronized sushi.

"Drinker" is like an insult.
We are all masters at this for a long time.

Would you like dry wine?
-Fill it up!

I'm sitting here drinking tea with jam.
Tasty, of course, but not a martini, not a martini ...

Do you drink beer?
- Only on holidays.
- When are your holidays?
- When there is beer!

Actually, women drink little, because all the men are beautiful.

- Nastya, I have a bottle of whiskey behind my back! If you guess in which hand - we'll drink it, if you don't guess - we'll break it.
- In the left?
- Think, Nastya, think!

For the last week I have been trying to get out of the binge, but so far I can only get out for booze.

Drinking lessons:
1. MATHEMATICS - chipped in;
2. PHYSICAL EDUCATION - decided who runs to the store;
3. CHEMISTRY - savor it;
4. MUSIC - sing;
5. GEOGRAPHY - trying to get home;
7. FOREIGN LANGUAGE - we explain at home that we drank quite a bit.

Knock Knock.
- Who's there?
- I'm drunk. I mixed you beer with vodka.
- Finally!

Never refer to the fact that you were drunk. When a person is drunk, he does and says what he always wanted to do, but would never do if he were sober.

We go to a large hypermarket after 23:00 at night. We drink any whiskey we like. We pass with an empty bottle to the cashier and say:
- Sorry, I could not resist, but I'm ready to pay!
We hear the answer:
- We can't get through this purchase, because under federal law, after 11 p.m., the sale of alcohol is prohibited.
You apologize and go home without paying anything.
PROBLEMS?

The hostess abandoned the bunny ...
The bunny became single again.
Bab brings, drinks beer ....
Lives great!

Tossed a coin into the liquor department to get back.

Not an alcoholic, but a fearless traveler on the emotional spectrum through chemical portals in glass jars.

- Ivan, after half a liter can you work?
- I can.
- And after a liter?
- I can.
- And after two?
“I can’t work, but I will lead!”

I'm leaving the road is not easy,
To an area where you'd better not be...
Where eternal truth sleeps peace ..
In short: I went to drink!

From workaholic to alcoholic - five days.

I've fallen in love with something sweet...
And addicted to strong.

And why do girls seem more beautiful under a degree?
- The organism thinks that it has been poisoned, and is trying to urgently continue its kind.

Russian business is to steal a cistern of alcohol, sell it, and drink the money.

Alcoholics Anonymous Club:
- Hello, my name is Stas... I'm an alcoholic...
- I'm Roma... And I'm an alcoholic.
- My name is Zhenia. I'm an alcoholic.
- Nu that, for familiarity?!

Weather forecast for the evening: overcast with a high chance of whiskey.

Said I'd get drunk and got drunk. I love setting goals and achieving them.

Tell me who your friend is and let's go drink beer together.

I have already forgotten when I bought something other than alcohol, so I just call the money coupons for booze.

Tariff plan "Bukhariki".
A new service - "Beacon" - will show where they thump without you.

The most offensive thing is when you talk about feelings, and you are accused of alcoholism.

I have an interesting long-term hobby, but my girlfriend demands that I code from it.

When I was going fishing with my homies, she begged me not to go, almost rolled at her feet and kept getting tired and tired. She. My only one Darling. Unique. Liver.

TEQUILA: Licked - Drank - Bit;
MARTINI: Ordered - Drank - Agreed;
CHEAP COGNAC: Opened - Closed - Threw away;
YOUNG MOLDOVAN WINE: I drank - I jumped - I ran - I did not have time;
EXPENSIVE FRENCH WINE: I bought it - I put it - I look;
VODKA: Drank - Wanted - Seduced - Disgraced - Fell asleep;
TURKISH VODKA: Brought - Opened - Tried - Closed - Gave;
SOVIET CHAMPAGNE: Bought - Drank - Crying - Laughing - Sleeping - I'm taking it home;
BEER: I drank - I went - I drank - I went - I drank - I drank - I fell asleep - I woke up - I went.

Artichoke

Alcohol is an anesthetic that allows you to undergo an operation called life

Reality is an illusion caused by the absence of alcohol

You meet old drunkards more often than old doctors

You are not really drunk yet if you can lie without holding on to the floor.

The attraction to drink, unlike the attraction to a woman, becomes chronic over time.

Labor is the curse of the drinking class

It's funny how most men are proud of two things that any man can do exactly the same: get drunk and beget sons.

I hate those who remember what happened at the feast

A new dress acts on a woman like four shots of vodka on a man.

One more drink and I'll be under the master

Love moves the world, yes, but whiskey spins it twice as fast

Hangover Cure: Squeeze the juice from two bottles of whiskey...

Alcohol in small doses is harmless in any quantity.

A smart man drinks until he feels good, and a fool drinks until he feels bad.

The drunkard is the true center of the world; everything revolves around him

First you want the drink, then the drink wants the drink, then the drink wants you

You can't say that I'm a big drinker. I can go for hours without alcohol

I drink to make other people more interesting

To get drunk to disgrace, I now have one glass. I just can't remember, thirteenth or fourteenth

For some, life begins after forty, for others - after a hundred grams.

You never know you've had an extra drink until you've had it.

You can refuse the first drink, but not the second

Never drink on an empty wallet

Thanks to the phone, you can talk with a friend without offering him a drink.

I drink to forget that I drink

I drink no more than a hundred grams, but after drinking a hundred grams, I become a different person, and this other person drinks a lot

Everything in life is interconnected: you live - you want to drink, you drank - you want to live

If alcohol remains after drinking, then there are problems within the team.

Pickle - the drink of tomorrow!

Moonshine - partisan movement of alcoholics

I'm not sad - I'm sober

Alcoholism is when you don't want to drink, but you have to

An alcoholic does not think - he thinks

Alcohol causes short-term expansion of blood vessels and circle of friends

Alcohol should be taken as it is

Be carefull! The wrong hangover can lead to binge drinking!

A quickly drunk glass is not considered poured.

Wisdom is in wine, power is in beer, bacteria is in water!

All to fight against drunkenness! Let's drink 100 g before the fight ...

Yesterday there was a battle with drunkenness - drunkenness won ...

Give me a foothold and I'll make a toast

The soul asks for pineapples in champagne; the body needs vodka ...

If a hangover is not treated, it goes away within a day. If treated - for ten ...

Another 50 grams of investment - and I'm real estate ...

And where do they come from? I have never bought empty bottles!

I go, I see: someone quit drinking ...

As Heraclitus correctly noted, one bottle cannot be drunk twice. But you can't drink two bottles twice...

Better underdrink than overdrink

Man, do you make moonshine? - For what? So I drink...

Our people are smart. For three persons…

You need to take three at once, so as not to run after the second

You always learn about the best moments of life from the stories of eyewitnesses.

With nothing to do, only narrow-minded people drink. A smart person will always find a reason.

… fell victim to Russian hospitality

Late drunk second - in vain drunk first

After the 10th toast, he finally felt at ease

You send a fool for a bottle, so he, a fool, will bring one

The men went fishing. And forgot the vodka...

Our village is huge: four sobering-up stations

No matter how much you feed a guest, he will still get drunk.

Only a truly Russian person knows how food differs from snacks

Only drinkers know what it's like to be sober

What the sober has in mind, the drunk has already done

Hey guys, where are you from? - We?! Yes, we will even be out of the throat!

Alcohol does not cheer up, but only emphasizes it, so you should drink it only when you are cheerful and happy.

You can drink in different ways: until it becomes good, as smart people do, and until it becomes bad, which is the lot of fools.

Only two categories of people do not drink alcohol at all: sick and secretive.

It seems that female hormones are in all alcohol, not just beer. So that I don’t drink, until the morning I can’t drive and think logically.

Throwing away the lid after opening the alcohol, you burn all the bridges.

Future generations suffer from the alcohol we drink.

I always get upset when I miss something, unless of course it's a couple of shots.

Alcohol gives rise to strange metamorphoses in me. Yesterday I was nothing, but today I'm somehow not like that.

Toasts should be pronounced in the following order: to health, to pleasure, to insolence and to madness. Only in this order will they reliably reflect the essence of what is happening.

There are only two reasons to drink: the presence of a snack and its absence.

Alcohol is the ticket to the land of the crazy.

Read the continuation of the famous aphorisms and quotes on the pages:

The ability to drink is one of the last joys that remain after the fleeting years have stolen everything else from us.

Vodka is like a Russian nesting doll: I opened one, and then a second, a third went.

Non-alcoholic beer is the first step towards a rubber woman.

Real England begins only after you step over the threshold of the nearest pub.

The asphalt rose and hit him in the face. I had to sleep standing up...

Yes, alcohol kills brain cells. But only the weakest.

Friendship is the wine of existence, love is a good glass of vodka

Another 50 grams of investment - and I'm real estate ...

Body: I ​​want a martini.

The momentary urge to speak was gone… It’s better for me to finish my glass silently…

After three glasses of cognac, the Frenchman switches to mineral water, and the Russian - to “you”.

Control yourself if your legs don't hold you!

To live long, get yourself an old wine and an old friend.

It is difficult to convince friends of this.

Alcoholism is the cause of many exciting adventures.

Folk wisdom: “If a hangover is not treated, it goes away in one day. If treated - for ten.

Alcoholism does more havoc than the three historical scourges put together: famine, plague, and war.

When drunk with wine, do not embark on the holy work of procreation. Anthony de Mello

All the necessary notes have long been played. Cooled down, the wine in the glass went out. Pythagoras

When a woman's tongue begins to stutter,

Drunkenness is the mother of all vices.

Alcohol increases sexual desire, sometimes you drink, you lie on the floor - and so you don’t want to get up ...

The drunkard sometimes makes more amusing jokes than the witty ones.

An alcoholic is a person who is ruined by drinking and not drinking.

In order not to become a drunkard, it is enough to have before your eyes a drunkard in all his ugliness.

Now, if they opened a bar called “Service”, I would call my wife with a clear conscience and say that I was detained at the service.

They say that alcohol does not solve problems, you might think that water and milk solve them))))

Everyone would become doubly wiser if there was a drop of wisdom in wine.

In Russia, since ancient times, a sip of freedom was replaced by a glass of vodka.

And the vodka is such that I want to live, And meet a man, And, touching the elbow, Say: Curly, let's be friends! Stas Yankovsky

Man is only an intermediate link necessary for nature to create the crown of creation: a glass of cognac with a slice of lemon.

Alcohol in small doses is harmless in any quantity. Anton Chekhov

The weather is such that you want to breathe.

A new dress acts on a woman like four shots of vodka on a man.

Vodka is our enemy - when the enemy does not surrender - they destroy him - then he surrenders in the form of empty bottles.

Be carefull! The wrong hangover can lead to binge drinking!

The attraction to drink, unlike the attraction to a woman, eventually becomes a chronic condition.

Damn, what a sad moment ... here's how not to ask where the glass is ... Ekaterina Gorbovskaya

Alcohol is an anesthetic that allows you to undergo an operation called life

Alcohol is just a temporary solution to problems, which is why you should not stop drinking.

I said “NO!” to vodka, but she doesn’t want to listen.

When drinking, we feel like a person. In the morning - the body.

We drink to each other's health and spoil our own health.

A hangover for a person has been and remains the topic of the most dramatic experiences, and its treatment is the subject of the most thorough study. Sometimes it seems that the mouth is full of burnt butterflies, it feels like it spent the whole night on the eyeballs ...

Alcohol helps not only to understand what is good and what is bad, but also to feel.

You never know you've had an extra drink until you've had it.

Heart: I protest, I want love!

If a person does not drink or smoke, there is a suspicion, but is he a bastard?

An intelligent response to an offer to drink: - More definitely yes than hardly no.

Alcoholism is when you don't want to drink, but you have to.

Wine communicates to everyone who drinks it four qualities. At first, a person becomes like a peacock - he puffs up, his movements are smooth and majestic. Then he takes on the character of a monkey and begins to joke and flirt with everyone. Then he becomes like a lion and becomes arrogant, proud, confident in his strength. But in the end, he turns into a pig and, like her, wallows in the mud.

Wine is the healthiest and most hygienic drink

Alcohol is only a robber and killer at the end of the story, in the middle of it - it's just a habit, and at the very beginning - just a stress reliever.

You can drink, you can not drink - neither one nor the other radically helps.

Drinking is like sex - you can do it alone, two people are better, groups are the most attractive.

An alcoholic is a person who knows exactly what he wants.

If the body could determine exactly the proportion and amount of whiskey to be drunk daily and follow it exactly, I swear it would be possible to live forever without dying.

Reality is an illusion caused by the absence of alcohol

Constant drunkenness is harmful, it spoils the nature of the liver and brain; weakens the nerves, causes nerve disease, sudden death.

I got more out of the booze than the booze out of me

Alcohol causes a short-term expansion of blood vessels and a circle of friends.

You meet old drunkards more often than old doctors.

A real Russian man will find a way out of any hard drinking.

the man's hands begin to unravel by themselves))))

Alcohol in small doses is harmless in any quantity.

Let's drink to alcohol - the source and solution of all our problems.

Drinking? Thank you Bukowski for this!

Alcohol is just a descent to a lower level of the game. Time does not come out to play on the current one.

Alcohol in small doses is harmless in any quantities.

Alcohol is an anesthetic that allows you to undergo an operation called life.

Women like men who order Scotch whisky. This is an impressive choice. It's classic and it's sexy. Glass, smell and no fruit juice. This is whiskey. And you - who ordered it.

One glass is enough, but two is not enough ...

Brain: protest rejected, I want a martini too.

I drink no more than a hundred grams, but after drinking a hundred grams, I become a different person, and this other person drinks a lot.

You understand that something is wrong with your life when your declaration of love is answered by the question: “Have you been drinking?”

Of all my peers, I am most impressed with communication with cognac.

Everyone says that alcohol destroys families, but no one talks about how many families it has created.

Life is good if the cognac we drink is older than the men we sleep with...

Don't put intoxicating treats to the fool,
To protect yourself from feelings of disgust:
Drunk, screaming he won't let you sleep,
And in the morning you will get bored, asking for forgiveness. Vladimir Semenovich Vysotsky

No wonder I drink wine at the end of the day,
His deaf power is deserved;
Wine takes me deep into me
Where I can't get sober.Mikhail Zhvanetsky

And what, be sure to get drunk like a pig? You can just sit and talk heart to heart.
- I'm not a prosecutor to talk heart to heart with you.

The ability to sell goods well is also an art.
Came here with the guys just for dinner. Well, as usual, we decided to take a hundred. I go to the bartender
- Three for a hundred! - and I'm throwing money away. The bartender silently places three glasses and an unopened bottle of vodka on the counter.
- I asked three for a hundred!

I don’t drink anymore ... Finally!
- What is it?
- I returned from work on Friday, tired as a dog. I decided to stay at home, dived under the covers and drank a whole bottle of cognac.
- So what?
- I was then seen in three restaurants in that blanket ...

- Stop drinking!
- I do not drink. I disinfect spiritual wounds ...

Early morning. There is a line at the winery, a cat is walking along the line. A man from the queue kicks the cat, the cat flies off to the side ...
Confused queue:
- ???
Man:
- People are sick in the morning, not drunk, and she BOOM, BOOM ... BOOM, BOOM with her hooves ...

What will spirituality give me? - asked the alcoholic.
- Non-alcoholic intoxication, - sounded in response. Igor Guberman

Drunkenness humiliates a person, takes away his mind, at least for a while, and eventually turns him into an animal.
J.-J. Rousseau

Wine brutes and beasts a person, hardens him and distracts him from bright thoughts, dulls him. - F. M. Dostoevsky

All people drink and eat, but get drunk and only savages gorge themselves. - V. G. Belinsky

Alcohol does not help to find the answer, it helps to forget the question

Drunkenness is an exercise in madness.
- Pythagoras

If we are talking about quality alcohol, we are talking about quality poison. This is what needs to be clearly remembered. Under no circumstances is alcohol good for the body.
- Onishchenko, Gennady Grigorievich

Alcohol- quite a reliable tool when you want to reduce the mind.
- V. Ya. Danilevsky

Alcoholics reward their descendants with various serious ailments, among which mental illness occupies an honorable place.
- V. Ya. Kapel

When wine was poured to Diogenes at the feast, he poured it out. Then they began to scold him, to which he replied: "If I drink it, then not only it will die, but I will die along with it."
- Diogenes of Sinop

...Alcohol constantly provides our doctors with a huge amount of unnecessary work: they have to treat diseases systematically supported and strengthened by the patients themselves. It is hard to even imagine how much medicine could have stepped forward if millions of people who voluntarily caused a huge bouquet of diseases directly or indirectly related to alcohol consumption were not hanging on it.
- Popov L.E. "Alcohol and life"

So, having sipped half a glass, he drank his own life.
- A.V. Ivanov

drinking People let the enemy into their mouths, which steals their brains!
- W. Shakespeare

Wine conveys to everyone who drinks it the four states. At first, a person becomes like a peacock - he puffs up, his movements are smooth and majestic. Then he takes on the character of a monkey and begins to joke and flirt with everyone. Then he becomes like a lion and becomes arrogant, proud, confident in his strength. But in the end, he turns into a pig and, like her, wallows in the mud.
- Abu-l-Faraj

Drunkenness is the most vile evil - it harms the mind, steals health, weakens the spirit, reveals secrets, induces quarrels, insolence and lust. A drunk man is not like a man, but is most like a beast; because when a person is drunk, he has no more intelligence than an animal.
- Penn William

Alcoholism does more havoc than the three historical scourges put together: famine, plague, and war.
— Gladstone W.

No body can be so strong that wine cannot damage it.
- Plutarch

The drunkard never enjoys flourishing health and never reaches a ripe old age.
- Nelyubin A.P.

We drink to each other's health and spoil our own health.
- Jerome K. Jerome

Beauty dies from wine, youth is reduced by wine.
- Horace

Drunkenness is the greatest evil for man, society and the state.
- Kovalevsky P.I.

Wine destroys the bodily health of people, destroys the mental faculties, destroys the well-being of families and, most terrible of all, destroys the souls of people and their offspring.
- Tolstoy L.N.

Do you know what this man drinks from a glass trembling in his hand shaking with drunkenness? He drinks tears, blood, the life of his wife and his children.
- Lamenne F.

Vodka is white, but paints the nose and blackens the reputation.
- Chekhov A.P.

Not every drinker is a drunkard. But the peculiarity of alcohol lies precisely in the fact that one who starts drinking it can easily become a drunkard.
- Kovalevsky P.I.

The well-known blush of the cheeks from wine, which is usually considered the result of the exciting effect of alcohol, is a phenomenon of vascular paralysis.
- Bunge G.

Constant drunkenness is harmful, it spoils the nature of the liver and brain; weakens the nerves, causes nerve disease, sudden death.
- Avicenna

Alcohol, by destroying the organs of the body, robs the body of its defenses against contagious diseases.
- Bodrirallar A.

Alcohol destroys human health not only by poisoning the body; it predisposes the drinker to all sorts of other diseases.
- Semashko N. A.

In alcoholics, each disease proceeds much more severely and violently than in teetotalers.
- Baer K. M.

Drinking wine is just as harmful as taking poison.
- Seneca

Alcoholism is a product of barbarism - it has been holding humanity in a stranglehold since the time of gray-haired and wild antiquity and collects a monstrous tribute from it, devouring youth, undermining strength, suppressing energy, destroying the best color of the human race.
— London D.

A drunken man is not a man, for he has lost what distinguishes man from cattle - the mind.
— Payne T.

Excessive addiction to wine closes the door to all virtues and opens it to all vices.
- Valery Maxim

The drunkenness of fathers and mothers is the cause of the weakness and sickness of children.
- Hippocrates