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What meals should be for 40 days. Kutia is an obligatory dish of the funeral table

The menu of the Russian funeral table, its traditions and features

Among the ritual Russian national feasts, the most firmly held throughout the 20th century. both under the tsarist and under the Soviet regime, the so-called commemoration is a feast arranged after the burial of a person for his relatives, close friends, and sometimes for all those who came to his funeral and accompanied him to the grave. After the cemetery, relatives and friends of the deceased return at the invitation of close relatives to his house, where they usually have a prepared table waiting for them.

In Soviet times, it was either a cold table, or a dinner with one hot dish, or (if the commemoration was arranged by an institution) - a cold buffet table. Of course, over the course of the 20th century, the composition of food and dishes during such commemorations changed dramatically and, in general, as a rule, reflected the state of the culinary possibilities of both the whole society and a particular family. It was considered important to invite and feed people, but what, in what quantity, in what composition or under what menu - this was no longer part of the organizers' considerations. Thus, a funeral dinner or a memorial dinner completely lost, lost its ritual culinary character and turned into an ordinary lunch or dinner arranged by relatives to thank the people who came to the funeral of their loved one. That is why they ate and drank everything that a particular family could get and put on the table at the moment.

Meanwhile, the Russian funeral table (be it lunch or dinner) traditionally should consist of a mandatory and certain number and composition of dishes.

The classic wake menu, whether they take place immediately after the funeral or on the ninth or fortieth day, consists of the same stable composition of dishes served in a strictly defined order. It is in this that the funeral table differs sharply from all other forms and categories of food. And this is its deep meaning, which distinguishes it from the usual series of feasts.

By the way, the memorial table has another traditional Russian name - “hot”, which directly indicates that replacing the memorial table with a “cold snack table”, and even more so with a buffet table, is a gross violation of the rules of this type of feast. This violation directly affects and devalues ​​the very meaning of food at the wake as an expression of respect for the memory of the deceased. Here is the classic, traditional, correct funeral table menu:

Pancakes. They can be served with butter (butter), sour cream, salmon or salmon and caviar - red, granular or pressed. All these traditional "butts" depend solely on the individual wealth and tastes of the organizers. But pancakes should be mandatory, and it is yeast, and not some kind of pancakes.

cabbage soup. We are talking about classic Russian cabbage soup. From what cabbage these cabbage soup will be made - fresh or sour, sauerkraut, whether they will be rich or lean (that is, with or without meat), fresh or daily - all this is again decided individually in each case. But cabbage soup should be without fail and cooked for real, and not be replaced by borscht or other soup.

pies can also be any, with any filling - meat, cabbage, onion, potato, fish, mushroom. But they must be by all means. The type of funeral pies can be anything. Moreover, the more different types of pies presented at the wake, the better. These can be hearth, fatty meat pies, multi-layered kulebyaks or light puff pastry pies, they can also be made from simple sour dough, rye or wheat-rye sourdough dough.

The only strict requirement for all types and types of pies served at the wake is that they must be closed and also savory, since sweet pies are always made either open or slatted, and also because they serve as ritual pies for days joys - on birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, etc., while on days of sorrow only closed pies should be used. This alone creates the correct, decent occasion of burial, restrained background of the entire feast, which a person should feel, even if he is not versed in any rules, conventions and ceremonies.

Roast. This dish is the culmination of a funeral feast. It can be prepared from any meat or poultry and is usually accompanied by a modest vegetable side dish, most often mashed potatoes or vegetables, since the mashed potatoes are conveniently divided into a relatively large number of people. Less often and, so to speak, poorer, when porridge or pasta (vermicelli) are served as a side dish, but in the 20th century. these replacements can be considered acceptable, especially for mass "feasts", as products based on grain (flour) raw materials.

Kissel. The final dish at the commemoration is of extremely important ritual significance. It cannot be excluded from the memorial table menu under any circumstances. Even in the case of extreme poverty of the deceased, when it is allowed to limit and reduce the memorial table to a minimum. This minimum should remain two dishes: the first - pancakes and the last - jelly. Kissel must be sour and vegetable, that is, cranberry, lingonberry or, at worst, apple, gooseberry, currant, but not milk! This is connected both with the ritual, pagan meaning of funeral food, and with the purely culinary meaning of this gastronomic procedure, taken into account in antiquity, on the basis of centuries of experience. The fact is that heavy flour and meat foods are easily and well absorbed and processed in an acidic environment. That is why heavy pancakes are always followed by sour cabbage soup, and sour pies are followed by pies and roasts.

Drinking during funerals. At the commemoration, if they are ritually correct and cultured, of course, certain canons are provided for drinking drinks. Unfortunately, in the last decades of the XX century. the commemoration turned into a kind of occasion to get drunk "in honor of the dead." This, of course, is not true. The use of alcoholic beverages, like the rest of the funeral food, is ritually subject to clear rules. The first dish - pancakes - is preceded by one glass of pure vodka (about 50 g), which everyone present should drink in memory of the deceased. And on this, during the classical commemoration, the use of vodka (or cognac) as strong alcoholic beverages, in fact, ends. Further, throughout the feast, beer, mash, kvass are consumed, and red grape wine is served with the roast, especially if it is from poultry. But vodka, after the first general glass, must be defiantly removed from the memorial table.

This special character of the Russian funeral feast, however, was completely forgotten, ignored and violated. Meanwhile, it is full of meaning: at the moment of grief, everyone must maintain sobriety of thought and action, and also have no moral right to insult the memory of the deceased with an indecent form of behavior (drunken look).

As you can see, the menu and the nature of food at the wake, developed by the Russian people in the 17th-19th centuries, were subjected during the 20th century. systematic violation and distortion, both due to the loss of the experience of previous generations, and due to the extreme lack of culture of the vast majority of the population, which does not associate the nature of the memorial meal with the meaning of this event and looks at the commemoration only as an occasion for drinking, meeting with friends and a form of gratitude these acquaintances for their closeness or past assistance in something to the deceased person.

Another reason for the distortion of the funeral feast in the XX century. - This is a general loss of culinary skills, the habit of using ready-made or semi-finished industrial foods. That is why sausage, canned food, chocolate, sweets appeared on the memorial table, which were completely unsuitable for this event.

If you look closely at the funeral menu presented above, it will become quite obvious that it included the main Russian national dishes that require manual cooking from raw products using an oven or stove (pancakes, cabbage soup, pies, roast, jelly).

Namely, these dishes by the end of the 20th century. completely disappeared from the composition of the family table of the majority of average Soviet, including Russian families, especially in cities. These dishes require, of course, not only good culinary skills, but also time, fuss, and in the presence of a large number of participants in the commemoration, an extremely large amount of dishes. That is why real commemorations should in fact be limited to an extremely close circle of relatives and friends. Only then can they be carried out truly correctly - both ritually and culinarily. Only then will they be able to preserve the atmosphere necessary for this event and have serious national educational significance for the family and its closest ones. And this was originally the purpose of organizing and repeating the commemoration three times - to educate future generations in a family-patriarchal national spirit, unobtrusively, but consistently and definitely establish a connection and continuity of generations, at least in the sphere of assimilation and maintenance of national traditions.

Now, by the end of the 20th century, such a connection, frankly speaking, has been completely lost. And this is precisely what is regrettable and makes us at the end of the 20th century. to remind those who will continue the Russian people in the 21st century about the forgotten, confused and distorted rules and canons of the Russian national memorial table. Indeed, this legacy of distant ancestors is not a sin to restore, preserve, and transfer to the 21st century. At least for those and for those who, although indifferent to "native graves", but want to be a good cook or want to preserve one of the important "corners" of Russian national cuisine and have the opportunity to remember it at least a few times in their lives, with a sad parting with their "ancestors" or close friends.

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The main thing on memorial days is to pray for the deceased. It is necessary to put candles for the repose of the soul of the newly deceased and, before the start of the morning service, submit a note with the name in the nearest church. At home, a candle or lamp is lit. A glass of water and a piece of bread are placed next to it. It is better to crumble the bread later for the birds.

Traditional funeral meals

All funerals begin with a prayer. Each visitor must taste three spoons of kutya. Kutia is cooked from whole grains (rice or wheat) with honey and raisins. Orthodox canons against alcohol. However, most often it is offered. It can be cognac, and sweet wines, for example, Cahors.

Next are snacks. It can be cold cuts of vegetables and salads from them, pickles. Be sure to serve half a boiled egg. Served fish fried or boiled with sauce,. Fried liver or meatballs are often offered. You can also serve meat salad.

The first courses are borscht, beetroot soup or noodles in chicken broth. The second is served with goulash or roast with a side dish. As a side dish, you can choose mashed potatoes, buckwheat porridge. You can order plov. Traditionally they serve pancakes with honey. Kissel can be replaced with compote.

When the commemoration falls during Lent, it is better to follow the traditions and make a menu of Lenten dishes. Kutya is served without changes, traditional wheat or rice with honey and raisins. Choose cold appetizers from fish, fish salad, herring, sprats. Appropriate pies with fish. From salads - vinaigrette, mushroom salads. Any pickles or fresh vegetable salads.

For the first - lean borscht, bean, lentil, mushroom soup. For the second, you can serve potatoes or noodles with mushrooms, stewed potatoes with mushrooms, vegetable pilaf. The prototype of meat cutlets will be cabbage or carrot cutlets, potato zrazy with mushrooms. Lean pancakes or lean buns. Kissel or compote.

Most importantly, do not forget the essence of the commemoration. They are held to strengthen the strength to pray for the deceased.

Cover properly table To dinner- an occupation that does not require special skills. You can even teach this to a child, and he will be happy to become your assistant when serving solemn meals.

You will need

  • - tablecloth;
  • - cloth napkins;
  • - table service;
  • - wine glasses, glasses and glasses;
  • - cutlery.

Instruction

Serving for a grand dinner begins with the choice of tablecloth. The classic color is white, but if you are satisfied with a different color scheme, there are no prohibitions. The main thing is that it should be a solid fabric tablecloth, preferably linen. Its ends should cover the legs of the table, hanging evenly from all sides. Traditionally, in order not to hear the sound of cutlery, a felt lining is placed under the tablecloth.

Opposite the place for each guest, place small large plates, placing them 2.5 centimeters from the edge of the table. You can put plates on them if you plan to serve snacks, followed by hot dishes. Or deep bowls if soup is on your menu. Of course, all plates and cutlery should be either from the same service or combined in style.

To the left of the plate, place the forks with the curve down. First, they put a wider fork for meat or fish, depending on whether you plan to serve, then also place the fork with the prongs up. The first fork should be about 1 cm from the edge of the plate.

To the right of the plate, place the knives in the same order - closer to the plate is a hot knife, further -. Knives should lie with the blade to the plate. If soup is on the menu, place the soup spoon on the far right with the curve down.

Wake is a custom to see off the dead with a meal. Christianity has not supplanted this custom, although priests try not to participate in it. Coming to a wake without an invitation is considered indecent. The memorial days of 2013 can be seen. Read the recipes for lenten dishes of the funeral table in another section.

Usually the family of the deceased orders a wake in a cafe or restaurant, or arranges a wake at home. After the cemetery, close relatives and friends go to the wake.

Trizny is an ancient custom to have a meal at the grave of the deceased. They became the prototype of modern Christian commemoration.

Signs for funerals and commemorations

Arriving at the house, it is necessary to “cleanse” after the funeral - it is advisable to change outer clothing, wash your hands and dry them with a towel. In Rus', a bathhouse was often heated on this day, since touching the stove was also considered a cleansing ritual. Fire - cleanses in many cults and religions.

While the procession is moving towards the cemetery, it is necessary to thoroughly clean the house, wash the floor. Pay special attention to the corners in the rooms, door handles, threshold. Then you can fumigate the room with incense or juniper.

Orthodox commemoration is, as it were, a continuation of worship through eating. And on the part of the family of the deceased, the organization of a commemoration is considered Christian alms.

Also, commemorations are arranged for 9 days, 40 days, six months, a year and on the birthday of a loved one. Triple commemoration symbolizes the journey of the soul to the other world. it is believed that on the third day the soul stops wandering around the house and ascends to heaven, on the ninth day the body disintegrates, on the fortieth the heart decays.

Orthodox commemorations require that at the beginning someone read the 17th kathisma from the Psalter in front of a lit lamp or candle. Before the start of the meal, they read "Our Father ...".

In ancient Rus', certain dishes were served at the wake: eve (full), kutya (kolivo), pancakes, jelly. Modern housewives try to cover the funeral table plentifully and varied. Be sure to serve cold and hot fish and meat dishes, pies. If the commemoration falls on a fast day, you should adhere to the requirements of the fast. Below are lean and fast dishes that can be prepared for the wake. It is desirable that there is an even number of dishes on the table.

Modern memorial dinner and church traditions

Kanun (sati) is a sweet dish of beans with sugar or honey. Kutya (kolivo) - boiled cereals with raisins, sprinkled with honey. Traditionally, the funeral dinner begins with these dishes. As for alcohol at a funeral dinner, the Orthodox canons are against it, because seeing off the soul is not a place for fun. However, the modern table is rarely complete without alcohol. For the family of the deceased, this is an occasion to relieve stress. That is why you can often see vodka, cognac, red wines. Usually, during a memorial dinner, knives and forks are not used, but only spoons.

If the commemoration falls during Great Lent, then they are transferred to the next next Saturday or Sunday. All memorial days of Easter week and the following Monday are celebrated on Radonitsa (Tuesday of the second Easter week).

For the deceased, a device and a glass of vodka with a piece of black bread are placed at one end of the table. Sometimes this set is left up to 40 days.

At the end of the memorial dinner, the hosts distributed leftover food to the guests. It is often customary to give away pastries, bread, pies in order to “commemorate” the deceased at home with those who were not present at the memorial dinner.

Below is a sample menu for the funeral. If the day of the memorial dinner falls on a fast, you should choose dishes for Lenten commemoration.
Memorial menu. Kutya
500 g rice, 200 g raisins, 200 g dried apricots, 3 tbsp. spoons of honey, salt.
Cut dried apricots, soak with rice for half an hour. Boil rice in 1 liter of water, add raisins and dried apricots, honey, stir. There is a spoon. Each person present must eat 3 tablespoons of kutya.

Memorial menu. Homemade noodles
4 legs or whole chicken, carrots, salt, pepper, dill, bay leaf.

Make homemade noodles from 0.5 kg of flour and 3 eggs. Roll out the dough thinly, let dry and cut. Boil the chicken, strain the broth, cut the meat into small pieces. Cut the carrots, put back into the broth. Before the start of the feast, the noodles should be dipped in chicken broth. Add salt and spices.

Memorial menu. Lenten borscht
It is prepared like a regular borscht, but the broth is prepared without meat.

Boil the beans, add chopped potatoes, cabbage. Make a frying of carrots, onions, beets, tomato paste. Add to broth. Cook for 10-15 minutes, add spices, pepper, salt, garlic.

Borscht should be allowed to brew. Therefore, it must be prepared in advance before the start of the memorial dinner.

Memorial menu. Pancakes

The obligatory presence of pancakes in a funeral dinner has been preserved since pagan times, where they symbolized the sun, that is, the idea of ​​​​eternal life.

4 eggs, 3 cups flour, 1 liter of milk, sugar, salt, a little soda, vegetable oil for frying.

Mix all the ingredients, let the dough stand for 15-20 minutes. Vegetable oil can be added to the dough so as not to grease the pan. Bake thin pancakes, grease with butter.

Funeral dinner menu. Lean pancakes
Make batter from 2 cups flour, warm water, dry or fresh yeast, add salt and sugar, vegetable oil so as not to grease the pan before each new pancake.

Funeral dinner menu. lean bun
From the proposed set of products you will get about fifty buns. 2 kg of flour, 1.1 l of water, a pack of yeast, 300 g of sugar, 1.5 teaspoons of salt, 50 ml of vegetable oil.

Dissolve sugar and yeast in warm water, let it come up a little, add salt and flour, pour in vegetable oil. Wait until the dough has doubled in size, form small buns and place them on a baking sheet at a distance from each other and leave for another half hour. After that, bake in the oven at 220 C for about 20 minutes. Ready-made buns can be greased with sugar syrup. From the same dough, you can bake pies with jam or berries.

The dishes for the memorial dinner are simple: cutlets, fried fish, chicken, meat. As side dishes, you can choose mashed potatoes or buckwheat, rice porridge. At the end of the meal, it is customary to serve jelly or dried fruit compote.

How to bake traditional "ladders" for a wake, read.

If the memorial day of 9 or 40 days falls in fasting, then a fasting memorial dinner should be prepared. What is included in it, what dishes may be present on the memorial table - read below. Read the general rules for holding a commemoration.

If the commemoration of 9 or 40 days fell during Great Lent, then on weekdays the commemoration is not performed, but is transferred to the next (forward) Saturday or Sunday, the so-called “counter commemoration”. This is done because only on these days (on weekends in Lent) are the Divine Liturgies of John Chrysostom and Basil the Great celebrated, panikhidas are performed. If the memorial days fell on the 1st, 4th and 7th weeks of Great Lent (the most severe weeks), then only the closest relatives are invited to the memorial dinner.

Kutya recipe for a wake

The traditional dish of the memorial table among the Slavs has long been considered. The simplest and most unpretentious dish: wheat grains are soaked overnight, then boiled until soft, steamed raisins and poppy seeds, honey are added. You can replace wheat with rice, but this tradition appeared much later.

Lenten pancakes for the wake

Pancakes should also be on the table. In a fasting week, they are cooked without eggs and milk, but this does not affect their taste in any way. To prepare lean pancakes, mix flour, salt, sugar and dry yeast, dilute with warm water, add vegetable oil and leave for a while in a warm place so that pancakes can rise.

Uzvar or compote for Lenten commemoration

Uzvar (vzvar) is a traditional dried fruit compote with honey. You can serve its modern counterpart: compote of frozen berries or dried apricots. However, you should not replace this dish with soda and any sweet water from a bottle, juice. Compote has traditionally been present at the memorial table among the Slavs since ancient times.

Traditionally, pies should be present on the memorial table. They are also handed out to guests after the meal is over.

Recipe for lean cakes for the wake:

The dough for lean pies is made according to the recipe below. As a filling, you can use mushrooms, onions, green onions, sorrel.

For the dough, dilute the yeast in 1.5 cups of warm water, add 200 g of flour, stir and put in a warm place to stand for a couple of hours. Then mix 100 g of vegetable oil with 100 g of sugar, pour into the dough, add 250 g of flour, leave for another hour.

Shape the dough into balls and let them rise. Then roll the balls into cakes, put the mushroom mass in the middle of each, make pies, let them rise for half an hour on a greased baking sheet, then carefully grease the surface of the pies with sweet water and bake in the oven for 30-40 minutes over medium heat.

Cover the finished pies with a towel to cool. Remove from pan when they are completely cool.

The first dishes of the memorial dinner in Lent

First, cook any soup, cabbage soup or borscht, but not with meat broth, but with beans, beans, lentils. You can make mushroom soup. If you serve it with croutons, it will turn out no less satisfying and tasty than the usual meat first.

The second dishes of the memorial dinner in Lent

For the second at the lenten funeral table, dishes with mushrooms are suitable. For example, boiled potatoes in mushroom sauce, stewed potatoes with mushrooms, noodles with mushrooms. You can cook rice with vegetables (prepared like pilaf, but without meat). This is a rather fragrant and satisfying dish, quite appropriate on the funeral table.

You can cook soy patties or even soy chops. If you do not want to buy ready-made soy products in the store, you can make your own cabbage or carrot cutlets. After frying in breadcrumbs, they will become a worthy replacement for their meat prototypes.

Salted and pickled vegetables can be served with the main dishes: cucumbers, tomatoes, zucchini (in general, check your country stocks). Vinaigrette, Olivier without meat and mayonnaise, any vegetable salad (cucumbers + tomatoes, cabbage + cucumbers) will do as a side dish.

Remember that the essence of any (even a modest, even fasting) memorial dinner is not to eat deliciously, but to "reinforce strength for prayer for the deceased."

The generally accepted tradition of commemorating the dead in folk culture, originating almost at the time of the ancient Slavic feasts, can be divided into four types:

  1. commemoration on the third day after death (the so-called "tretiny").
  2. on the ninth day (nine).
  3. on the fortieth.
  4. on the anniversary and annual commemoration on the day of the death of a person.

All these commemorations are usually referred to as "private", dedicated to specific people - in contrast to the calendar, dedicated to all the dead. At their core, they represent a continuation of the funeral rite and in the pagan tradition were considered as a successive transition of the soul from the world of the living to the world of the dead. Christianity not only accepted this point of view, but also adapted it to its own concept, filling each case of private commemoration with sacred meaning. From this position, the most important in her tradition is the commemoration on the fortieth day.

Magpies and their significance in culture

However, it would be wrong to say that forty years acquired any sacred meaning only with the Christianization of the Slavs. Even in the pre-Christian era, they were the main date of private commemoration and its final stage, after which only the commemoration of the deceased followed in the first year after death and then annually, which symbolized his joining to all the dead. Thus, among the majority of Slavic peoples, he was deprived of individual commemoration. And although, for example, the Serbs could arrange a private commemoration up to the seventh anniversary of the death, and the Bulgarians - up to the ninth, this was more at will than by tradition.

The frequency of private commemorations among various Slavic tribes (the Slavs could celebrate the twelfth day, and the twentieth, and three weeks) was due to the fact that, according to the then ideas, until the fortieth day the soul of the deceased is on earth. She can return to the house and the yard, from where she left on the third and ninth days (tretiny and ninety, respectively), hovering near the grave, walking where the deceased used to be during his lifetime. All the rituals of this period were associated with the stages of the departure of the soul, its wires and a kind of prevention of the return of the deceased, so that he would not return and would not in any way annoy the living. In this sense, the forties were something of a final point: if on the third day the soul of the deceased left the house, and on the ninth day - the yard, then on the fortieth it finally left the earth. If everything was done correctly and according to tradition, so that the soul remained satisfied with its wires, then the living could be calm: the deceased became their protector and no longer bothered them.


Christianity supported this tradition, but not only because its distributors set as their goal to introduce the pagans to the new religion in various ways. The Christian tradition had its own meaning of the fortieth day, largely formed under the influence of the burial customs of the Middle Eastern tribes. For example, according to the Bible, the fortieth day is:

  1. the day of the ascension of Jesus Christ.
  2. the day of the third repose of the soul before God, which finally determines its afterlife and the place where it will stay until the Last Judgment.
  3. the last day of mourning for the forefather Jacob and the prophet Moses.
  4. the last day of fasting, after which Moses received from God the tablets of the Covenant with the ten commandments.
  5. the day the prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb (Sinai).

It is not difficult to see some very significant intersections between Christian and pagan Slavic ideas about the fortieth day, due to which at one time there was a relatively easy adaptation of one culture to another in this regard.

Commemoration order

The folk traditions of commemorating the deceased for the fortieth, which were called differently in different localities, are already so intertwined with church ones that it is almost impossible to separate them from each other. Very often, old people living in villages and talking about the customs of the fortieth day, call those traditions of the church that are inherently primordially pagan. Perhaps this was the moment of adaptation of Christianity to pagan consciousness, when priests in certain localities were forced to turn a blind eye to many customs, and even participate in their observance, thereby unwittingly sanctifying this or that tradition with their authority. It was a common phenomenon for all regions to put a “commemoration” on the window near the red corner or on the table for the deceased and the ancestors, who on that day could visit him to commemorate. Pomin was bread or a pancake and a glass of water (over time, subtly turned into a glass of vodka), which was changed daily, pouring the old one out the window. In the Smolensk region, an unlit candle was attached to this mention.

In addition, in many areas the following customs were followed:

  1. make a bed for the deceased on the bench / bed where he slept. After forty years, it was taken to church or distributed to the poor. In addition, the ban on living in this place or occupying it in any other way was lifted.
  2. hang a towel by the window in the house or on the street so that the soul can wipe itself off. After forty years, they did the same with him as with the bed.
  3. hang a spruce paw outside so that the deceased can recognize his house, and those walking by to be remembered, and a towel / ribbon / lace, with which the arms and legs of the deceased person were bandaged at the funeral. After the commemoration, they were taken to the churchyard or burned.
  4. visit the cemetery and arrange a wake right there, inviting those who dug a grave on the day of the funeral (Smolensk region).

On the eve of the forties, in some areas it was customary:

  1. to heat a bathhouse (in Zaonezhie), and also to go to the cemetery, remove the wreaths from the grave and burn them, thus symbolizing the last day of grief for the deceased. Especially earnest lamentation was associated with him during the wake on the fortieth day.
  2. pour out the millet, where the candle has stood for all forty days, on the grave or behind the back gate “for the birds” along with the reading of the prayer, facing the sunset (Vladimir region).
  3. arrange night vigils with the reading of prayers and spiritual verses and a memorial dinner, which then turned into a commemoration at the cemetery and into a memorial meal at home (Smolensk region).
  4. bake cookies in the form of a “ladder” with seven lintel steps, along which the soul rises to heaven, and after dinner go to the cemetery, seeing off the soul (some southern Russian regions).
  5. treat near the gate with kissel and well-fed (diluted with water honey) all the inhabitants of the village (Ryazan region).
  6. having bowed three times, eat and distribute drachens, pancakes, eve (north-western regions, possibly Ryazan region) at the crossroads.
  7. open the gates and bow with lamentations to all directions of the world, starting from the east (Tambovshchina).

In addition, as we have already mentioned, many mourning prohibitions were lifted, which was customary to observe until the fortieth day (in fact, the mourning itself was by and large considered completed). For example, after forty years it was allowed:

  1. touch and decorate the grave.
  2. leave the house empty and lock it up.
  3. touch the clothes of the deceased.
  4. turn off the lights (in some areas).
  5. lie down / on the bed / bench that the deceased occupied during his lifetime (and even more so to sleep on it).
  6. remove mourning decorations from the house, remove curtains from mirrors and reflective objects.
  7. distribute or even burn the clothes of the deceased.

The official church, of course, disapproved of such customs, considering them to be remnants of paganism and pointing out that the only thing that needs to be done on the fortieth day besides the commemoration is prayers to make amends with their help for the sins of the deceased and alleviate his afterlife. However, she did not forbid these manifestations of grief, preferring to explain to her parishioners the features of the commemoration on the fortieth day according to Christian canons. Particular reference was made to:

  1. modesty and restraint in the preparation and decoration of the memorial meal.
  2. avoidance of alcohol.
  3. the undesirability of eating a memorial dinner at the cemetery.
  4. avoiding, if possible, excessive grief for the deceased, in particular its external manifestations.

This position of Orthodox clergy has been preserved to this day, and it should be noted that many psychics agree with it (especially with its last point). In their opinion, the deceased is very uncomfortable when relatives mourn them too much. Sometimes the deceased may even come to them in a dream with a request to "let him go" and not to grieve for him so much, because he is "wet to lie down." It is possible to treat the opinion of psychics differently, but in any case, in our opinion, this is a good reason to think about the degree of grief for the departed that is acceptable for the living.

Forty menu

As for the question of what should be a memorial meal on the fortieth day, the answer to it is extremely simple: the memorial table, which is made by the relatives of the deceased on the day of the funeral, is taken as a model. Its mandatory elements should be the following:

  1. kutya with honey - porridge made from grains of wheat, pearl barley or barley, which were eventually replaced by rice. When preparing it, it is also allowed to use poppy seeds, raisins, nuts, milk, jam, and sometimes bird cherry. Kutia on the memorial table is a symbol of resurrection and the cycle of life, and by eating it, a person, as it were, joins this cycle and becomes a part of it. Each of its elements not only symbolizes something of its own, but is also something like a wish for prosperity, sweetness, pleasure and a high harvest. It is allowed to cook both rich kutya, which includes all of the above components, and poor. There is no single recipe for kutya, all recipes are similar to each other, but at the same time they differ depending on the regions.
  2. meat broth with meatballs, noodle soup or borsch - again, depending on the area of ​​\u200b\u200bresidence.
  3. rich (or lean) pancakes. The fundamental difference between them is that lean pancakes are made not with milk, but with water.
  4. potatoes with meat, usually stewed or mashed, served as a side dish. If desired, this dish can be replaced with buckwheat porridge.
  5. meatballs or chicken.
  6. some kind of fish dish, usually fried fish.
  7. dried fruit compote or jelly.

Optional elements of the menu of the fortieth day, which can be prepared at will and if possible, are:

  1. pies with rice, mushrooms or cottage cheese or pies with potatoes and sour cream (this element has become a regular item lately).
  2. sliced ​​cheese or sausage (with the exception of fasting, when these products are banned).
  3. one or two fresh vegetable salads.
  4. favorite food of the deceased. However, if it is too difficult to prepare or exotic - for example, foie gras with white wine - then it is better not to cook it. Popular tradition calls for modesty, and the Orthodox Church fully agrees with it.
  5. the vinaigrette.
  6. Olivie.
  7. various appetizers and salads.
  8. various pickles.

They also prepare special funeral bags with sweets (sweets and cookies), which, after the end of the meal, are given to each departing guest. Following the folk tradition, it is imperative to ensure that there are an even number of sweets and cookies in these bags. You can complement this sweet funeral set with a lean bun.

Usually, relatives and closest friends of the deceased are invited to the fortieth, and ideally, everyone who treated him well. At the same time, it doesn’t hurt to approach the organization of the commemoration rationally and estimate how many people can be treated to a memorial dinner without undue burden on the family budget (alas, no one has canceled the harsh reality, even the representatives of God on sinful earth). The same applies not only to the number of guests, but also to the formation of the menu: do not impress the guests with the abundance and variety of treats. If the commemoration falls on fasting days, then it goes without saying that there should not be any meat dishes on the memorial menu. In this case, you can cook lean borscht by replacing meat with beans or mushrooms, and it would be appropriate to replace mashed potatoes with buckwheat porridge, which we have already mentioned. The same applies to pancakes: taking into account the obligatory nature of this symbolic dish on the memorial table, priests are recommended to make them fast, not modest. It is also advisable not to arrange a commemoration on weekdays of fasting, but to move them forward to the next weekend. If the fortieth day fell on Easter or on any day of the Easter week, then it is best to move it generally a week ahead, to the beginning of Radonitsa. It is also recommended to do the same if this day falls on Christmas: move it forward a week, after consulting with the priest.

Some funeral table recipes

Of course, every housewife wants to diversify a strict memorial meal with something special, in order, on the one hand, to please the soul of the deceased (especially if he loved to eat delicious food during his lifetime), and on the other hand, to please relatives and guests invited to the commemoration. However, it is not at all necessary to turn a funeral dinner into a feast like the same ancient Slavic feast, investing almost all of your savings in it. It will be quite sufficient to add one or two treats from the optional to the dishes from the mandatory and generally accepted menu. And to facilitate the preparation of these dishes, we are happy to share recipes for preparing some that will surely diversify your table.

There is no need to dwell on how to cook the same mashed potatoes with meat or Olivier salad. And here, for example, is a recipe for making such an appetizer as ham rolls:

  1. thinly sliced ​​300 gr. ham (in the event that you purchased it as a whole).
  2. prepare the filling: boil 3 hard-boiled eggs, separate the yolks from the proteins and grate them into different bowls (squirrels - on a coarse grater, yolks - on a fine one); on the same coarse grater grate 2 processed cheese or 200 gr. hard cheese; wash, dry and finely chop the greens; Peel and squeeze 2 garlic cloves through a garlic squeezer.
  3. combine all the components of the filling (except for the yolks), add mayonnaise and mix well.
  4. spread the ham, put on the edge of each slice 1 tbsp./Des. a spoonful of filling and roll into a roll.
  5. Dip each roll in mayonnaise and roll in grated egg yolks.
  6. put lettuce leaves on a dish, place rolls on them and decorate with herbs.

Or - no less simple snack called "tomatoes with fish salad":

  1. wash 5-6 tomatoes, cut off their tops and carefully remove the pulp with a teaspoon.
  2. boil and grate (or chop) 5 eggs, mixing them with the pulp of tomatoes.
  3. mash the contents of 1 can of canned food in oil with a fork, season it with mayonnaise and, if desired, add a little grated cheese on a fine grater, then salt, pepper and add herbs.
  4. combine and mix grated eggs and canned food.
  5. salt the tomatoes inside and fill them with stuffing, then put them on a plate and garnish with herbs, if desired, with handfuls of grated cheese or green peas.

Finally, here is the recipe for the “ladder” cookies we have already mentioned:

  1. make a starter: stir 1 packet of dry yeast with 5 tbsp. l. sugar, add to the mixture 300 ml. warmed milk, 3 eggs and 50 gr. butter, then add 3 tbsp. l. flour, mix and put in a warm place for 30 minutes.
  2. pour half a kilogram of fresh or frozen berries with sugar to taste (you can use any variety). If desired, you can hold them for a little on low heat.
  3. sift the remaining flour (in total, according to the recipe, half a kilogram of flour is needed), sift, pour into a container, make a depression in the middle and gradually add the sourdough.
  4. knead everything, sprinkle with flour on top so that the dough does not dry out, and put in a warm, windproof place for another 2-3 hours, kneading two more times during this time.
  5. when the dough is ready, roll it in flour mixed with aromatic spices, then divide into two parts. From one to make a cake, and from the second - a ladder.
  6. put the berries on a cake, cover with a ladder on top, decorate it with berries and raisins, grease with yolk or milk, leave for 15-20 minutes. and then place in the oven at a temperature of +200 for 20 minutes.

One very interesting custom of divination is associated with these cookies, which, perhaps, very clearly shows how folk traditions have mixed with religious ideas. In the old days, it was thrown from the bell tower and, by the number of pieces into which it shattered, they wondered about the future fate of the soul of a deceased person. If several pieces fell off the ladder, then paradise was prepared for the soul, since it was believed that the deceased led a righteous life; if the ladder shattered into small pieces, then the deceased was a sinner and his family had long days of prayers to alleviate the afterlife of his soul.

Conclusion

Without a doubt, everyone knows the pain and grief associated with the loss of people close to him. Usually in such situations, any words seem banal and unnecessary, but without them it would be much worse to experience such tragedies. The death of a person creates such a strange state when you want to be alone and at the same time strive for other close people so that they share this grief. From this point of view, the commemoration for the deceased can be considered not only as a tribute to tradition, but also as a kind of psychotherapeutic event.

It is generally accepted that the commemoration is needed more for the living than for the dead. This is partly true: the dead are alive in memory and will be alive as long as they are remembered. On the other hand, for believers there is no doubt that their spiritual help to dead people in the form of commemoration and prayers really helps their souls to find a well-deserved place in paradise after death. A commemoration is, first of all, an opportunity to gather at one table for all his close people to remember the deceased with a kind word (for example, about the good deeds he did, about good character traits), pray for him and rejoice that his soul has finally found peace . That is why the church calls:

  1. do not turn funeral dinners on any day - whether on the ninth or on the fortieth - into belly feasts.
  2. do not have conversations at the table that day on everyday or abstract topics and do not allow the commemoration to turn into an exchange of gossip or a quarrel.
  3. behave modestly, sedately and reservedly.
  4. give everyone who wants the opportunity to make a memorial speech (in practice, it turns into a memorial toast).
  5. be sure to pray before the meal and at the very end. In addition, if the deceased was baptized, it would not be superfluous to submit a note “On repose” to the church on that day.

And finally, before the start of dinner, it is advisable to sprinkle kutya with holy water.



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